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the leading man is my tpye

Truly Dreadful Film

In truth, there is barely enough story here to make a film.

This is a must-see and one of the best documentaries - and films - of this year.

Just what are you expecting from your cheerleaders? If you go into this expecting more than a B-Movie romp, then you're an idiot. Seriously. This movie is what happens when you mix stereotypical rednecks, nubile Beavers and a drunk old man with a hand gun. Yes, something IS going to happen... and it WON'T be pretty! Add in the local mortician with Alzheimer's (who doubles as the sheriff and sells usable corpses off to the local dog-food factory), his college-flunky nephew assistant, who isn't bothered by the thoughts of a bit of necrophilia and the young janitor (who has a back-story all his own) and you have a movie! As his uncle says, "If they don't say "no"... and they usually don't, then consider that a "yes".SPOILER ALERT!!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!! The real action starts when the Beavers get ran over by their own bus, leaving one survivor, who is mistakenly sent to the morgue along with the others.Enter, the assistant's rival for this Beaver- the janitor- who seems to have a secret room of his own in the morgue. Apparently, he gives himself an "upgrade" in the manhood department, thanks to one of the male corpses- and he's ready to swing! Enter, the one surviving Beaver. The horny assistant won't let his uncle kill her for dog-food. The uncle dies in the ensuing fight.Despite missing part of her face, sporting an arm burnt to a crisp and having two stumps for legs- the young assistant finds her attractive enough for a quickie after he "cleans her up" a bit. And (in true Beaver fashion) she doesn't say, "no".Afterwards, while cremating his uncle, her body disappears- setting up the confrontation between the assistant and the body-snatching janitor- who's busy trying to "upgrade" her a bit, as well. Who will win? And better yet- WHAT DOES ANY OF THIS HAVE TO DO WITH THE ENDING?!?!? The quick end made NO sense and is the downfall of this, otherwise fairly entertaining, flick.As expected, it's a low-budget flick, but that helps to add some laughs when it comes to the "special" effects. Sound and production are decent enough (not the best sound on the bus), acting performances passable (obviously, no awards handed out here) and the script has some fair sophomoric chuckles- but DEFINITE problems with the continuity. Overall, I think it's worthy of a view for a B-Movie fan who doesn't expect much going in. Not a B-Movie fan? Then why are you even considering watching this? In the meanwhile, I'll continue to look for those hidden diamonds in the rough. This one? A fine chunk of cubic zirconium, which shatters at the end.

OK I'll be honest.... I stumbled across this little...... GEM lets call it, since that sounds classier than TURD, while i was looking up cheerleader porn.... So why did I expect anything less than crap? (ooo if i got it looking for porn.. it HAS to be good... its a sign! its a sign!)It's hilarious how every other movie recommended for people who enjoyed this title is a 10 star movie. First off i'd like to clarify that this is in no way a horror film, but purely a comedy for sick puerile freaks... hehehe :DIt only took me about 10 minutes to realize it was a stupid ass movie, and I have a rule where if its revealed to be total worthless trash before its a quarter done, then i just stop it and move on to something else, but in this case, it actually WAS somewhat amusing and at a running time of only 80 minutes i figured "why not" It may be low budget, but it shines through as your typical drunken party movie. the atmosphere is just like "beerfest" only slightly more stupid, slightly less funny, and slightly sicker, and with a production name of "stinky pictures", expect a lot of fart jokes.The director however is not inept. The movie is self consciously stupid; the huge penis transplant, people getting shot and instantly turning to charred corpses in the next scene. The flashback sequence with the businessman is hilarious as a purposefully bad advertisement parody. The Cleverest funny line was when the janitor is spying through the bushes in front of the window and the 2 inside say "what was that?" ... "i dunno, but it sounded like a cow pissing on some leaves" ....heh heh... which indeed was an accurate description. it's like if someone knocks on the door; "Who is that" ... "I don't know but they seem to be at the door." ...yeaaah, though funny as it was I began looking at the clock saying "phew... hurry up and finish." at the 50 minute markIt can in no way scare or shock, as the corpses in every case are obviously fake, and even though a legless 1 armed girl is sexually exploited and then snuffed, shes slutty, bitchy, and doesn't exist as a character but has the on screen presence of a self aware plot device. "I lost both legs and an arm and the side of my face is missing... but are my tits and ass still intact? .....good then I'm still sssexy" (I was quoting, not paraphrasing) Honestly, even Jesus or the Dalai Lama wouldn't be inspired to feel ANYTHING for the characters on screen. SO if the Dalai lama ever comes to your community, be sure to ask him to stop by for a few beers to confirm this.Like another reviewer mentioned, a cool aspect of this film is how EVERY single character is a total degenerate bastard, and most of the characters DO have strong screen presence. The plot of "we're selling corpses to a dog food factory, and we now have to deal with a handful of dead cheerleaders and their coach, and the witness we clubbed to death" was pretty interesting, though the idea that any valable company could sustain itself on the mortuary of a small country town, or would find that a cheaper worthwhile means of acquiring meat, especially given the obvious legal and moral dilemmas, is absolutely moronic.If this movie tried harder and wasn't so self consciously stupid, and had a more thought out plot, more wit.... and wasn't a piece of junk in general, it could have been a cult classic... but that would be another movie altogether. As it is, I can even see a fringe group being proud to own a copy, so If you decide to watch this movie thats one thing... but if you took the time to read this long ass review about it, and if you're a crude sick freak... then you HAVE to watch it, if only to avoid long ass reviews on movies such as "dark harvest." and "attack of the killer tomatoes"

It's not even a good Bad movie if you see what I mean..... Cheerleader horror movies ought to have at least a few cute cheerleaders who manage to have a wardrobe malfunction every few scenes, as this movie goes on you are rather glad they generally keep their clothes on cos they aren't exactly pretty.... The rest of it just gonzo enough to lift it to a 2 instead of a 1.... The plot is a bit hard to follow some of the time, glaringly easy in other places, generally rather disjointed, which considering the mad doctor disectionist theme might have been a situationalist pun in something cleverer. This is one for bad low-budget horror purists, if you are looking for a Skinemax T+A horror show, get something else.Chris

Spoilers herein.Yup, the production values stink. Yup, the thing is juvenile: death and sex, plus poop jokes.But I got into this. That's because, like 'Coven,' it takes itself seriously. Its not camp, where it is bad and knows it. Its bad, and soldiers on. Its juvenile and honestly so. Its no different than Kevin's movies, except with a lower budget.Neither this nor Clerks is as good as 'May' which deals with much the same perspective. Snowballs, glass.Ted's Evaluation -- 1 of 3: You can find something better to do with this part of your life.