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hyped garbage

This is a must-see and one of the best documentaries - and films - of this year.

Christopher Lee was known to complain about having to appear in certain films, but he rightfully went farthest with this one (even taking the case to court, but dropping it due to the inordinate dent the whole would make to his financial situation) since he was actually duped into making a documentary about the occult when instead the footage was sold to the official producers of this stinker in order to add a marquee name to their substandard product! Well, I cannot recall when I last was this harsh in my rating of a film – but what else can you expect when the project's exploitative nature is worn so blatantly on its sleeves: apart from the fraudulent roping in of the star (who, naturally, only appears in bookends totally disconnected from the main feature other than that the latter's premise also involves the paranormal), the title is equally deliberately misleading…as not only is the titular weapon used a mere couple of times throughout (and, therefore, hardly the cause of the intimated endless bloodshed), but the intended parallels to THE Texas CHAIN SAW MASSACRE (1974) could not be more removed in both plot and artistic quality! Anyway, what we have here is a group of jaded University students who get so upset with what they deem time-wasting sessions (talk about life imitating art!) devoted to the occult that the quartet decide to pay their Professor a less-than-courteous visit at his home – where things inevitably turn brutal. However, much to their chagrin, the elderly man survives in a semi-comatose state (while his young daughter does not – as it happens, thanks to the meatcleaver)…and it appears that he indeed practices what he preaches, given that (even in his precarious state!) he is capable of willing a supernatural entity to exact revenge on his family's assailants.Everything about the film is ugly: from the protagonists (who would like to evoke the notorious Manson cult but they have no characteristics, good or bad, to speak of – other than the obnoxious leader, whose acting is at once over-the-top and abysmal) to the utterly dreary look and the messy pseudo-surreal nightmares preceding the spirit's retribution (one of which, at least, is effectively revealed to be no more than a childish prank!). At least, the film-makers were committed enough to adopt the 'kill by the sword, die by the sword' (or, in our case, meatcleaver) adage for the first villain's demise; otherwise, one is crushed by the bonnet of a car he is repairing (with the oozing blood looking very much like strawberry jam) and another, a part-time projectionist, has his current attraction mysteriously interrupted and replaced with footage of the group's assault on the Professor's home (the only other inventive touch in the film, if still ludicrous!) before being offed. A bald cop investigates both the assault and the subsequent murders, is smart enough to make the connection (to say nothing of the psychic link between patient and pawn, which he even relates to the gang leader in the hope of confessing his own guilt) – but is still unable (or, perhaps, willing) to save him from his come-uppance.Finally, it is worth noting that I was so bored out of my skull watching this that an unintentionally hilarious moment – showing one of the gang troubled by a guilty conscience, or fear of payback (it is unclear which), attempts to commit suicide by slashing his wrists but is suddenly brought back to his senses by the realization that he is already late for work – that the supposed drollness of the incident completely eluded me! Also, while the movie's running-time is alternately given as 85 (IMDb) and 90 (Cinemageddon) minutes, the print I watched (derived from "You Tube") lasted for just 79…which, apart from presenting no official credits, abruptly cuts off the argument being laboriously made by Lee at the epilogue!

When Christopher Lee opens with monologue, it appears that he would be setting up some sort of "tale of the macabre". He seems like a Rod Serling or Boris Karloff, preparing us for a tale of terror and the supernatural. And, this wouldn't seem so out-of-sorts for that, but the problem is his monologue is put in front of some 70's hokum, an exploitation feature which doesn't remotely resemble any of the content for which he so describes. If this were an episode of "chiller theater", then Lee's work would've been ideal. Alas, it's applied to Hollywood Meat Cleaver Massacre. Lee returns at the end to close the film on the topic of powerful Shamans perfectly conveying the disconnect between his work and that of the central story-line.The movie itself is about students, real hellraisers, who decide, for the sheer pleasure of it, to assault their professor, Cantrell(James Habif) and his family. Mason(Larry Justin) is the psychopathic ringleader. The sadistic brood never use a cleaver, which negates the use of the film's title. This film, on it's own, probably wouldn't have such a negative reaction towards it if those who produced/distributed it weren't such fraudulent. Come to think of it, I'm not sure any of the film actually takes place in Hollywood! These kinds of movies have premises commonplace in cinema at that time. Last House on the Left as well as the Manson murders obviously come to mind, and, of course, the numerous clones that spawned as a result.Mason has a short fuse, a temperament that's ugly and confrontational. Why anyone would associate with a slimeball such as this is anybody's guess. What Mason and his group don't expect is the professor's ability to call a creature to exact justice on his part. Mason was one of those nuisances who considered his college class on the occult nonsense, and boy will he be in for a surprise! As expected, they are haunted by nightmares and soon fall prey, one at a time, to a menace, while we hear the voice of the professor summoning the Morak. There's this funny scene where one of the pack contemplates slitting his wrist, only to back out because he was late for work. Anyway, we see that when the "force" attacks each victim, Cantrell reacts as if he can sense their pain and fear. The filmmakers also juxtapose the portrait of a warlock(..which favors Cantrell interesting enough)and multi-eyed creature. Death sequences include a car hood crushing a victim underneath, a fusebox blasting sparks into the face of a victim, and a chest is opened up. Mason's fate is fitting.

Actually, Christopher Lee IS here, in a way. He is sitting at a desk and spouting some mystical hocus-pocus at the beginning and the end of the film. I was about to say "I hope he enjoyed a nice paycheck for this", but then I read the trivia section for this movie on IMDb and it seems that the exploitation of his name to fool the paying audience was not his idea and was done without his permission. Anyway, "Meat Cleaver Massacre" doesn't have enough story to support a feature-length film, and the killings are not interesting, memorable or explicit enough. As for the actors, I doubt most of them ever worked again in another film. Avoid this schlock, even if you are an avid horror fan. (*1/2)

When I saw Christopher Lee was starring in this film I thought to myself that it cant be that bad. But it was!First off all Mr Lee doesn't star in this film, he only does a prologue and an epilogue to it. The thing is that what he says in his parts, have absolutely nothing to do with the rest of the film.The plot? A teacher embarrasses a pupil who is mocking his lecture. Is that a reason to kill all the poor guy's family?!?!?Then the teacher,who lays in a coma in hospital, and is apparently paralyzed from the waist down, summons a demon to take revenge on the killings. But how can i paralyzed person toss and turn in his bed?And why does the demon, look like the monster from "the swamp thing"???And last but not least, why oh why is this film called "the meat cleaver massacre" when there is absolutely no meat cleaver used in this film??The plot is stupid, the FX are stupid, the acting is stupid. The whole film is stupid. Avoid!