Watch The Horrible Sexy Vampire For Free

Plenty to Like, Plenty to Dislike

Blistering performances.

This is one of the best movies I’ve seen in a very long time. You have to go and see this on the big screen.

Worth seeing just to witness how winsome it is.

I won't rehash the plot. The above reviews got it right enough.But I will say that this is one of those weirdly graphic Spanish horror(?) flicks. It repeats itself mercilessly, but gives you a new bit of nudity at the end of each screensaver of a plot development.It just so happens I was in the perfect mood for for some groovy moderns and their struggle with ah...er, a sexy vampire? This is one of those movies that make so little sense that you wonder if the voice-over guys who did the English version didn't just say anything that popped into their heads.But the weirdest thing of all, was when our phosphorescent protagonist orders a Mercedes Convertible at a rental agency.What is strange is that there's about 6 inches of fresh snow on the ground. Not exactly weather where you'd need the top-down option.So, anyway, someone must have gotten into a tizzie because the producer made them use his car to make some extra change, and they felt compelled to explain the use of a convertible in the movie.I don't know. But considering how nonsensical the rest of the movie is, this bit of overcompensation stands out like a nervous tick.NIPPLES! Had to put a word in for the nipples.They were quite good.

The "Horrible Sexy Vampire" is not sexy and not a vampire in the traditional sense. OK, I guess he is kind of handsome for an albino Pole, but he doesn't drink blood; he strangles people to death. There is not one drop of blood drank, or spilled, in this movie. Wtf kind of vampire movie is that? The original Spanish title "El Vampiro de la Autopista" translates to "The Vampire of the Highway" which makes no more sense. A better name for the movie might be "The Murderous Phantom" or "The Perverse Undead".The "Sexy" part of the title probably refers to the number of attractive women who who their breasts in the movie, particularly red heads. The fiend really has a thing for red heads. There are a couple more unusual things about this movie: the fiend kills many police detectives, and he has the power of invisibility.The movie is just police detectives getting strangled, half nude women getting strangled, and atmospheric scenes with Count Oblinski getting black-out-drunk alone in his ancestral mansion. I won't say its a horrible movie, but its a blood-free movie with "Vampire" in the title and its slow in parts. It strikes me as the kind of movie people were meant to make-out too.

Count Oblensky (Waldemar Wohlfahrt), heir to the Winninger estate, moves into his ancestral castle despite a spate of unsolved murders in the vicinity; there, he discovers the long dead Baron Winninger, a vampire with the power of invisibility and a longing to be staked, who is cursed to rise from his tomb to kill. Also unperturbed by the rising number of corpses is Oblensky's tasty fiancé Susan, who pays her boyfriend a visit and finds herself stalked by the undead baron.The plot for The Horrible Sexy Vampire is decidedly mediocre and leads to quite a few stretches of tedium wherein a police inspector investigates the murders and Oblensky explores his castle. Thankfully, the film's bloodsucking baron has a proclivity for sexy female victims, attacking only after they have removed some or all of their clothes, meaning that the dreary scenes of police procedure and Oblensky's investigation of his new home are regularly punctuated by far more entertaining moments in which naked hotties are offed by the kill-crazy count (who seems to forget that he's a vampire, throttling his victims rather than making use of his fangs).

"El vampiro de la autopista" (called "The Horrible Sexy Vampire" in English) is mostly what we would expect from any Euro-horror flick from the early '70s, namely the women who exist only to strip, shower and get killed. What I can't understand is why the vampire strangles people instead of directly drinking their blood (or why he tells his descendant to stop him). As long as we just accept that this movie has basically no purpose accept to teach hot women not to remove their clothes - which itself presupposes that horny men are watching so as to see their big breasts - then it's a pretty fun flick. But not much else (maybe it would have been a little neater had it starred Paul Naschy). I actually got to watch a version dubbed in English with Dutch subtitles. Go figure!