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Thanks for the memories!

It's funny, it's tense, it features two great performances from two actors and the director expertly creates a web of odd tension where you actually don't know what is happening for the majority of the run time.

Blistering performances.

The film never slows down or bores, plunging from one harrowing sequence to the next.

The movie starts promising with a bunch of teenagers getting killed by ridiculous special effects. Then, just as you are starting to think "why would they make an apocalypse movie if they don't have the budget or the skill to make the destruction of the world look big and terrifying?", they cut away to a different scene and avoid showing any details (at least they are aware that of how bad their special effects are). The next scene is just two guys talking about the destruction in front of their eyes in dead, emotionless voices until they are cut off by another bit of crappy CGI, but before you can start laughing at low quality animations, they fade into the next scene and repeat. That's all there is, badly acted characters standing around talking, mostly about God and the end of days, interspersed with short clips of badly animated cataclysmic events.

I watched the movie in its entirety. I will likely not watch it again, at least not for its entertainment value. Yes, it is a forgettable movie, but it poses a very thoughtful question for both the "Believer" and the "Non-Believer" alike: Is my faith genuine Faith? First the bad, and there is plenty that is bad. An "Epic Thriller", it is not. As a movie it is not visually remarkable in any way. As a story, it lacks originality, does not engage one's emotions and takes no time to provide any depth to its characters. As an exercise in film-making, it is poorly executed: There is no recognizable plot; the pace is tedious and uneven; the dialog is predictable and largely uninspired; the acting is pedestrian at best and amateurish at worst; the Special Effects range from pretty good to really bad. Most disappointing was the musical score, which was decent but excessively repetitive and the overall sound quality, which was very poor. That being said, c'mon folks, why such high expectations? This is an ASYLUM production, so of course it isn't going to be Armageddon or Deep Impact or even 2012.Apparently most reviewers thought they would see a SciFi film. Some reviewers were surprised by the religious overtones but I'm not sure why, as references to religion and "Faith" were plastered all over the packaging. Most "Christian" reviewers complained that it was not Biblical, and while one could successfully debate the soundness of some parts of Christian eschatology as it is presented, the events depicted are found in the Book of Revelation. I have watched a lot of Christian movies, and frankly most of them have left me unsatisfied on all counts. The portrayal of Christians and the Christian Faith is usually clichéd and over simplistic. Contrived story lines follow the predictable path of personal redemption as a life is transformed from contemptible to virtuous, with one dimensional characters that more closely resemble cartoons rather than human beings. The result is a depiction of a life experience so alien to the average person that one would be hard pressed to find any applicability to their own lives, hampering its ability to deliver the intended message.So what is good about this film? Not much. In this film "Faith" is frequently spoken about by most of the characters, but the nature of that Faith is not adequately explained, so it fails to successfully bear witness to the Christian Faith. The characters are underdeveloped, but in a refreshing break from the standard formula they aren't the same old good guys vs. bad guys, and here lies a savory nugget in a kettle full of tasteless mush. As you meet the characters, with one or two exceptions, you can't really tell the difference between Christian and non-Christian (sadly this is an accurate reflection of reality), as most everyone appears to have some faith or belief in God. But, as this is a film based on Revelation, true believers are eventually separated from the rest and the viewer may be surprised to see who falls into which category. No, its not enough to spare this film the criticism it deserves, but I believe keeps it from being branded an utter waste, for in this way the film asks profoundly troubling questions for anyone who thinks they are a Christian: Is my Faith genuine enough for God? Will I be surprised at the end?

I fancy myself as something of a bad movie connoisseur. Usually, I actually like bad movies - the wooden acting, meandering plot, horrible directing and illogical editing, when combined in the proper proportions, can make for a truly entertaining spectacle, a comedy where no humor was intended. When watched with the proper attitude, some of the worst films ever made can also be some of the best. (Caveat: Bad comedies are always bad.) This is especially true of science fiction and horror, where the prodigious suspension of disbelief we are asked to adopt means the movie has a long way to fall if that suspension should fail. So I was excited to find this science fiction disaster movie, aptly entitled The Apocalypse, gracing the IMDb Bottom 100 list. I acquired it and settled in for a good time.As I said, I am a connoisseur. I have seen some truly horrible films. Sasquatch Mountain has some of the most bizarre directing decisions I think I've ever seen. The Beast of Yucca Flats has some very memorably bad lines (Flag on the moon, anyone?). The plot of The Wild World of Batwoman hinges on an "atomic powered hearing aid." The soundtrack of Dead Men Walking is composed entirely of thrash metal. The film quality of Oasis of the Zombies is slightly outdone by the Zapruder footage. And who can forget the set design of Plan 9 From Outer Space? And all these movies are great. I mean, they're bad, really bad, but they're hilarious. So I was surprised when I found that I was actually having trouble enjoying The Apocalypse. Could there be some films so bad that they transcend good-badness? Now don't get me wrong - there are elements of this film that are hilarious, and scenes that had me laughing out loud. The first five minutes of the film, in which some stereotypical college-aged kids sit around a campfire overacting their incredibly generic lines before getting killed by a bunch of extremely well-aimed meteors is one such scene. The first death of the film involves a guy getting hit in the chest by a meteor while taking a leak in the dark woods. One of the kids at the campfire then startles and says "What was that?" to the skeptical dismissals of her friends. If one had replaced the meteor with bigfoot, the dialogue and tone could have been identical. Classic.I laughed at another ridiculous scene involving a crazy gun-toting banker who gibbers madly while waving his gun around and repeatedly growling "Liars!" The intended intensity and suspense of this scene fall flat when the other actors in the scene fail to appear more than mildly surprised at the banker's actions, and the poor sound quality reduces anything he says to random croaking and weeping noises, so his terrible performance as a regular man who's lost hope ends up looking like an excellent performance as a strung out crackhead.A series of scenes takes place in a pile of rubble after a tornado. As the characters try to make poignant comments about the hopelessness of their situation, and talk about how alone they are, and how desolate and quiet everything is, one can clearly hear several airplanes and helicopters passing overhead, as the scenes are clearly filmed near a large population center, and possibly an airport. This is especially comical during one scene at this location when a character waves to a single passing helicopter whose audio has unnecessarily been edited into the soundtrack.Apart from these few scenes, and the humorously inappropriate musical score (which ranges from Dvorak to 16-bit midi - all royalty-free, as indicated in the credits) there's actually not much to enjoy in this movie. It's not that the dialogue isn't bad. It's not that the acting isn't laughable. It's not that the direction doesn't leave you scratching your head at times. It's not that the special effects aren't as obvious as a gunshot wound. It's that all of this is there, and then some. This movie is actually TOO bad for its own good.The problem stems from the fact that much of the badness of this film isn't derived from these usual sources. They're all there, to be sure. But this movie is boring. Scenes stretch on for uncomfortable periods, while the actors struggle to hold some distressed facial expression, saying nothing. Characters look out of car windows at things we never get to see, still saying nothing. When there is dialogue, it's terrible - but somehow, unnecessary. Many conversations are superfluous rehashes of previous conversations, which, in movie time, took place a few days ago, but in real time, we sat through just five minutes earlier.There are some great bad movies out there. The conventional reasons that movies are usually bad make them wonders of comedy. The badness can be forgiven. But The Apcoalypse commits one sin of badness that is inexcusable - it's just not interesting.

Oh brother. This is a real stinker. I don't even have words to describe how bad it is. All right, let me break it down: Acting: Bad. Screenplay: Bad. Direction: Bad. Cinematography: Bad. Special Effects: Pathetic. Sound and Foley Work: Horrific. If I could give it less than a 1, I would. I've seen every bad "Christian" end times film there is, and most of them are stellar compared to this one. Even "Left Behind" (which I think I gave a very generous 3 or 4 our of 10 to) is a masterpiece compared to this drivel. Avoid this film at all cost. I know most reviewers here have given it a 1 or a very generous 2- trust them. DO NOT trust the guy who gave it a good review. He probably worked for the production.