Watch The Hellcats For Free

Pretty Good

Memorable, crazy movie

Although it has its amusing moments, in eneral the plot does not convince.

A terrific literary drama and character piece that shows how the process of creating art can be seen differently by those doing it and those looking at it from the outside.

I had no idea what this movie was even about. This movie was one that I've been wanting to watch for a long time. I was really, really disappointed by the end of the film. There was almost no action until the very end, and even by the end I still didn't understand what the story was about. The MST3K cast made it bearable, but not by much. There were two long scenes of people dancing and drinking, which would have been fine if they didn't last forever. I couldn't hear/understand the dialog at some points. I feel like the music didn't fit very well either. I thought there would be way more action, especially considering it was a biker film. Did the movie even have a resolution? I couldn't tell.

Well, at least the advertising's great-as is the original poster, which features a one-eyed blonde, swinging a motorcycle chain amid a bunch of female bikers who look like they're heading for Hell-hence the title. With the smash success of ''The Wild Angels'' ''The Born Losers'' and other counter-culture quickies, it must have seemed like a good idea at the time. Trouble is, ''The Hellcats'' has got to be one of the best cases for deceptive advertising ever foisted on the movie-going public. The first film about a female motorcycle gang, (so they said) it's almost nothing of the kind. The few female ''bikers'' in the film are so outnumbered by the males, they make no impression at all. Even worse, the ''script'' co-written by Robert F. Slatzer (yet another Hollywood lowlife who claimed he not only ''discovered'' Marilyn Monroe, but married her) and Tony Houston, is not only terrible, but unintelligible.And Slatzer, who also directed it, turned this mess into a ''novel'' which he probably ground out in the less than two weeks it took to film. ''Production Values'' are rock-bottom (even for a Biker movie) especially the stock library music, which sounds as if it belongs in a cheesy Mickey Spillane potboiler, or a Billy Graham film. In order to attract a young audience, a few forgettable rock numbers by a couple of equally forgettable bands are thrown in. One of them-''Somebody's Chyldren'' got their start playing background in Mae West's first rock and roll album-it was downhill from there for them. As for ''Davy Jones And The Dolphins''', there is a rumor that Jones went on to stardom as none other than David Bowie!.Talk about starting at the bottom. And, yes, there is a Title Song- THREE different versions, each one worse than the one that preceded it.All were featured on a ''soundtrack'' album from biker music specialist (and future Lieutenant Governor,) Mike Curb's ''Tower'' label..One of the musical numbers titled ''Mass Confusion'' (which sums up this thing so well, it should have been the movie's title) includes the lyrics: ''I can't take no more of this-no- no- no- no- no!'' A sentiment which probably sums up what audiences felt, if they made it that far. As for the ''background score'' it consists of library music composed back in the 1950s, where it was used for B movies and budget-deprived shows like ''The Adventures Of Superman''. And it's played at ear splitting levels through the film-probably to keep audiences awake (it didn't work-at least for me) I saw this years ago on a late night TV broadcast, and when I saw it on DVD years later, I could hardly remember ever having seen it previously. The ''Hellcats'' are a group of no-name ''actresses'' most of whom were making their film debut, and, probably unknown to them, their film farewell. Most prominent among them are Dee Duffy as the ''heroine'' who is out to avenge the murder of her Police-affiliated boyfriend who was investigating a gang of drug runners headed by Slatzer. and Sharyn Kinzie, as Sheila, leader of the ''Hellcats''. Duffy had previously appeared as a ''Slaygirl'' in a couple of ''Matt Helm'' movies, which starred Dean Martin. Kinzie was a newcomer, allegedly discovered while riding a motorcycle down Sunset Boulevard. Both are hard -faced unsympathetic and pretty long in the tooth for their parts. It's no wonder they were never heard from again. The only vaguely familiar names are Ross Hagen a Biker Movie staple by now,(playing the brother of the murdered man) Sonny West (once a bodyguard for Elvis Presley as the leader of a male cycle gang) and Gus Trikonis, who, aside from a role in the film ''West Side Story'' is best known as the ex-Mr. Goldie Hawn.Since the ''plot'' has been discussed elsewhere, just let it be said that aside from unintentional hilarity, this is strictly from hunger, and just when you think it can't possibly get any worse, on comes Slatzer himself, playing the role of the Villain, and speaking his lines right off cue cards.Strangely enough, James Gordon White who penned ''The Mini-Skirt Mob''(which also features Hagen) that same year, is'' credited'' with the original story for this one. And, while it's not exactly'' Quality Entertainment For The Discriminating Viewer'' either, at least ''Mob''more or less delivers what it promises. How did ''Hellcats fare upon release?. Well, as the critic for the San Francisco Chronicle put it, way back when,: ''The Cast is unknown, the direction is hack, the script is pathetic, and the acting stinks. It should play Outer Mongolia''. And that was probably as good as it got, review wise.A double-feature DVD which include ''The Hellcats'' and ''Chain Gang Women'' was released a while ago, and offers a decent transfer of both films-better, in fact, than the notorious MST3K version. But the upgraded image somehow makes ''The Hellcats'' look even worse. And, as for what ''MST3K'' did to it, the truth is this film is such an unintentional parody, a deliberate one is just redundant-and much less funny. The DVD's ''co-feature'' ''Chain Gang Women'' is (among other things) yet another example of blatantly false advertising. But, that's another story...

Before watching the MST3K version, I prepared myself to watch the original trailer and uncut version on the same DVD. The movie proper is meandering concerning plot, dialogue, and especially action scenes especially when a bike race is only heard while we're seeing close-up after close-up of what seems like bored spectators. There's also a couple of drunken/stoned orgy scenes that was probably the main reason for The Hellcats existence. You see some excitement at the end but by that time you'll simply be glad when it's all over. So unless you're curious about these late '60s drive-in fare, I wouldn't recommend this movie. Just the MST3K version will do for me which I'm going to review next...

Army Sergeant Monte Chapman (stiffly played by Ross Hagen) returns from the Vietnam war and poses as a biker to get the goods on the no-count drug dealing Harley hounds who killed his undercover cop brother. His brother's fiancé Linda Martin (pretty blonde Dee Duffy) helps Monte out. Sound exciting? Well, it sure ain't. Still amusing and entertaining just the same? You bet. This flick is often downright mesmerizing in its mind-numbing badness. Boy, does this hilariously horrendous honey possesses all the right wrong stuff to rate highly as a real four star stinkeroonie: flat direction by Robert F. Slatzer, uniformly atrocious cardboard acting, grainy, ratty cinematography by Gil Hubbs (the queasy use of zoom-in close-ups are guaranteed to make you sick to your stomach), a plodding pace, dreadful dialogue (sample line: "Back off Six Pack -- it's too early and I'm too sober"), a hopelessly dated "groovy" 60's psychedelic rock soundtrack, sporadic outbursts of extremely mild violence, a stupefying surplus of tedious talk, a meandering narrative, and plenty of ridiculous filler (according to this film bikers love to drink all the time, dance like crazy while blasted out of their skulls, and make out as often as possible). The bikers themselves are a colorfully scruffy bunch; my two favorite cycle savages were Tony Lorea as drunken lecherous slob Six Pack and Eric Lidberg as severely addled acidhead Hiney. The motorcycle mamas are quite the collection of hotties as well, with ravishing redhead Sharyn Kinzie taking the grand beauty prize as the fiery Sheila. A genuinely good movie this most certainly isn't, but its nonetheless an oddly entrancing and enjoyable piece of jaw-dropping dismal junk.