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Touches You

Thanks for the memories!

It’s not bad or unwatchable but despite the amplitude of the spectacle, the end result is underwhelming.

One of the worst ways to make a cult movie is to set out to make a cult movie.

Tommy Boyd (Betsy Russell) is an unconvincing tomboy who is carefully edited. She is also a grease monkey minus any grease or dirt and always has a nice clean manicure as most auto-mechanics and welders. She was a wild friend Seville (Kristi Somers) who will do anything to endear herself to the motion picture industry. Tommy idolizes local race driver Randy Starr (Gerard Christopher) but wants his respect too which she can gain by racing cars.On the surface, this is a lousy film. Betsy Russell gets an "F" attempting to play a mechanic. This film is available in at least two different 50 DVD collections of "B" movies and '80's films. What makes this film a hit is the classic 80's nude scenes provided by both Betsy Russell and Kristi Somers. If not for Phobe Cates, this would certainly be some of the best of 80's boy fantasy.8 stars for the nudity.Guide: F-word, sex, nudity (Betsy Russell, Kristi Somers, Rory Barish, Cynthia Ann Thompson, Michelle Bauer..no surprise...in fact she just drives onto the set, flashes and drives off.)

Tomasina 'Tommy' Boyd (Betsy Russell) is an independent girl. She's a mechanic and had always been a Tomboy. Her best friend Seville Ritz is boy crazy and wants to be a famous dancer. Tommy only has eyes for race car driver Randy Starr. Seville needs an investor for a TV pilot and she talks Tommy into taking her to a party with Randy Starr and his rich friend Ernie Leeds Jr. Randy wins over Tommy but he won't consider her as his equal in the car. She challenges him to a race.Betsy Russell is not the best of actresses but the rest of this cast makes her award winning by comparison. Kristi Somers does have a fun shower scene early on. There are a few scenes that shows the film knows that this is a cheese fest. Betsy is as sexy as ever even when she's Tomboyed up. This has its fun cheesy moments but it never exceeds its B-movie characteristics.

Despite her masculine sounding name and a love of traditionally male pursuits (fixing cars, basketball, baseball, driving like a maniac), there's nothing remotely butch about Tommy Boyd (Betsy Russell) when it comes to her physique: under the baseball cap and greasy overalls, there is an absolute babe waiting to get out, as stock car driver Randy Starr (Gerard Christopher) discovers when he invites Tommy (short for Tomasina) to pay him a visit at the mansion of his millionaire sponsor Ernie Leeds Jr (Eric Douglas).A typically silly 80s romantic sex comedy, Tomboy is predictable, poorly acted and badly directed nonsense, but the oodles of cheap titillation courtesy of the awesomely sexy Russell (and Kristi Somers as her equally hot best friend, dancer Seville Ritz), a naff 'battle of the sexes' story-line, and one of the worst car races in movie history (Tommy's vehicle being equipped with a daft onboard computer and rocket propulsion) help to elevate the film from utter drivel to entertaining cheeze, making it more fun than it really has any right to be.

Please. don't you just get sick of all those films that are just made as an excuse to put as much female flesh on display as possible? This one is probably worst than most though: not only do you have to put up with the usual bimbos and hunks with perfect teeth but no visible trace of any acting ability, you also have to endure some painfully cliched love scenes (complete with drippy mid 80's soundtrack of course) and an end race between the female lead character and her professional race-driver boyfriend that could have been lifted straight out of Grease (I won't bother telling you the outcome, if you hadn't guessed by now you've obviously never seen one of these underdog movies before, and good luck to you). Still we do learn a couple of interesting things from this film, one is that if you're a man (or a woman) who wants to get into the opposite sexes changing rooms, all you have to do is walk round the wall of your own changing rooms and you'll find it! Oh yeah, and all you need to turn a old rustbucket of a car into a gleaming new 150mph dream machine is 500 dollars and half a dozen spare parts from your local trashheap! So enjoy this flick, but most of all be prepared to have a blooming good laugh...