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Panzer Chocolate
Archaeology students searching for stolen art discover a lost Nazi bunker guarded by something terrifying. Now, they must run for their lives as the hideous beast hunts them down.
Release : | 2013 |
Rating : | 3.7 |
Studio : | Silencio Rodamos Producciones, Filmutea, |
Crew : | Assistant Art Director, Assistant Art Director, |
Cast : | Geraldine Chaplin Melina Matthews Ariadna Cabrol Mark Schardan |
Genre : | Horror |
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When a movie has you begging for it to end not even half way through it's pure crap. We've all seen this movie and this characters millions of times, nothing new in it. Don't waste your time.
The film never slows down or bores, plunging from one harrowing sequence to the next.
The best films of this genre always show a path and provide a takeaway for being a better person.
Going after her doctorate degree, Julie Levinson (Melina Matthews) and friends use old books and maps to discover a secret site in the Pyrenees which contains stolen treasure and Nazi chocolate. The secret to the Nazi chocolate is shared later on. The place is rumored to be guarded by a commander named "Frank" short for....I like the effect of having to rip open a woman's top before they take blood from her neck (opening teaser scene). But once ripped...won't it stay ripped? Just saying. Film picks up at 55 minutes.Guide: F-word. sex. Nudity (Melina Matthews) Some blood and guts scene. One disembowelment and one head crush.
I love B movies and especially B movie horror movies. I like those quirky kind of things and odd story lines.With that being said... This movie is absolutely horrible by any standard. I'm the only one writing a review because no one watches this kind of drivel. There is no continuity with the story line. Even the gore isn't all that great. The Walking Dead has better gore than this "horror" movie.Either the German accents are horribly distorted on purpose or it's just really lousy acting. This movie has no redeeming qualities. I'd rather got walk on nails than watch this movie again. The director must have slept through the filming because it appears to have no one directing it.I can't believe it even went to DVD. It should have been trashed and burned in the film room.