Watch Hansel and Gretel Get Baked For Free
Hansel and Gretel Get Baked
An intense new marijuana strain named “Black Forest” is taking Los Angeles by storm, and Gretel’s stoner boyfriend can’t get enough. But when the old woman growing the popular drug turns out to be an evil witch, cooking and eating her wasted patrons for their youth, Gretel and her brother Hansel must save him from a gruesome death — or face the last high of their lives.
Release : | 2013 |
Rating : | 4.4 |
Studio : | Tribeca Productions, |
Crew : | Director, Writer, |
Cast : | Molly C. Quinn Michael Welch Lara Flynn Boyle Cary Elwes Lochlyn Munro |
Genre : | Horror Comedy |
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Reviews
Very very predictable, including the post credit scene !!!
Surprisingly incoherent and boring
Plenty to Like, Plenty to Dislike
The plot isn't so bad, but the pace of storytelling is too slow which makes people bored. Certain moments are so obvious and unnecessary for the main plot. I would've fast-forwarded those moments if it was an online streaming. The ending looks like implying a sequel, not sure if this movie will get one
Molly C Quinn, the hot little strawberry blond from Castle, is Gretel, while Michael Welch (know to the Twilight folks specifically and to zombie fans with his role in Z-Nation) is her brother, Hansel. Gretel, her brother, and her boyfriend all love smoking pot. There's a "cute grandma" selling pot and brownies not too far from where they live yeah, she's a witch. She has the ability to drain "youth" from others, and so potheads arriving at her door offer the perfect victims to "suck dry". Lara Flynn Boyle, at first in old age makeup, soon has returned to her 40s thanks to the youth of Andrew James Allen (Gretel's beau).Part of the comedy is how busy the knocks at Boyle's door become. At one point she just shoots two cops who answer concerns of missing people possibly tied to her (Yancy Butler and Lochlyn Munro in small, but humorous, supporting parts part of the joke is that the film builds them going to the house only for them to be "dispatched" rather quickly), while her gory mistreatment of Allen is particularly gruesome (eye gouging with a fork she pops in her mouth after the fact and she chews on meat sawed from his leg, throwing a chunk to her dog!) and prolonged. A couple of victims (including a drug dealer of her weed who becomes too much trouble and a trio of drug supplying goons outraged with her selling on their turf) turn into zombies and go after our young dope-head heroes. You just have to see the throat slashing (it goes over the top by having the victim jerking and bleeding like a stuck pig) and an upside down "blood drain" (through the use of a hose turn spout!), not to mention, the ole "yank out the heart" gag are included for extra ultra violence. Boyle keeps the face straight although the part is absurd. She literally goes into the oven and even makes out with Latina babe, Bianca Saad, at one point, as Quinn searches throughout her house for the boyfriend. Boyle even has a bomb shelter converted into a pot farm! Cary Elwes is barely recognizable as a meter man who picks up a black cat seemingly abandoned and pays for it. As you might expect, there's plenty of "pot humor" to go with the grue. Definitely a kitchen sink movie.
The pothead Ashton Crawford (Andrew James Allen) and his girlfriend Gretel (Molly Quinn) are smoking in her room special marijuana called Black Forest supplied by the drug dealer Manny (Eddy Martin) and produced by an old lady named Agnes (Lara Flynn Boyle) that lives in Pasadena. Gretel's brother Hansel (Michael Welch) arrives home and Gretel tells that she will bake gingerbread cookie while Ashton will go directly to Agnes to buy more Black Forest. However Agnes is a witch and captures Ash to eat his flesh and drain his youth to maintain youth.Gretel seeks her boyfriend out and suspects of Agnes, but the police officers Ritter (Lochlyn Munro) and Hart (Yancy Butler) do not give credit to her words since Ritter knows that Ash is a pothead. Meanwhile the gang that supplies weed to Manny learns that he is selling Black Forest to his costumers and they threaten him and their leader Jorge (Joe Ordaz) sends a message to Agnes through Manny. However, the drug dealer is turned into a zombie by Agnes and Jorge and his gang pay a visit to her and are also turned into zombies. Soon Gretel and Manny's girlfriend Bianca (Bianca Saad) decide to break into Agnes' house and they learn that she is a powerful witch. Meanwhile Hansel goes to Agnes 's house to look for his sister."Hansel & Gretel Get Baked" is a horror dark comedy about a group of potheads and a group of drug dealers that have their lives entwined with a witch that sells weed. The politically incorrect theme might be funnier for teenage potheads but the plot is funny and the situations works reasonably well. I did not recognize Lara Flynn Boyle, one of the most gorgeous actresses until the turn of the century and now with a totally deformed face by plastic surgery the same way Melanie Griffith and Meg Ryan did. Now she is the witch without make-up. Time is cruel for everybody but it seems to be crueler for those that try to keep beauty and youth at any cost. I have also not recognized the beautiful Yancy Butler, but she is aging with dignity. My vote is six.Title (Brazil): "João, Maria e a Bruxa Da Floresta Negra" ("John, Mary and the Witch of the Black Forest")
I saw a poster of this movie in a mall: there was a gingerbread man smoking a blunt, and I thought it was cute and funny. I decided to give this movie a chance.During the first ten minutes, the movie seems the typical horror-oriented (well, this is what it aims for; it obviously misses its point) comedy written by a pair of pubescent 13-year old boys. You know, boobs, weed, bad jokes and even worse music. But no, oh no, it gets much worse. The plot is dull, the acting is awful, the characters are the stereotypical boneheads you find in each and every bad horror movie: the hot blonde, the ghetto girl, the stupid hunk and the smart geek. Wow. Brilliant.I can't even begin to describe how awful this movie is. Maybe that's what the producers wanted? Making a parody of an actual film? If, as I previously stated, you're a 13 year old boy who likes weed, energy drinks, bad jokes and centerfolds, congrats: you can survive watching this movie. To everyone else, there are many better things you can do to fill this hour and a half. Take a walk, bake a pie, I don't know. Don't waste your time on this!
This is the second alternate twist on the Hansel & Gretel fairytale in movie form that I have seen today. Two very different interpretations indeed, where the other was gory and bloody, then this is more laid back and has a darker comedy twist to it."Hansel & Gretel Get Baked" is about the siblings Hansel (played by Michael Welch) and Gretel (played by Molly C. Quinn) who end up having to fight for their lives against the witch Agnes (played by Lara Flynn Boyle) - just as in the fairytale. However, the witch here is using weed to lure in the youngsters, not candy.Well, I will say that this was a rather radical approach to the fairytale that we all know. And a rather bold approach, I might add. But still, it worked out well alright as director Duane Journey managed to pull it of nicely enough.However, for a comedy, then there weren't that many laughs about in this movie. There was comedy yes, but it was more sort of a subtle and perversely, dark, twisted type of comedy that might just not suit everyone. I mean, for example, the witch Agnes here turned out to have a Nazi background - where did that just come from? And also the deal with the zombies? I didn't fully grasp that concept, and mind you that I am a huge zombie aficionado, but they just didn't feel at home in this particular movie."Hansel & Gretel Get Baked" is an enjoyable movie because of its radical take on the classic fairytale. But the movie just never really excelled and stood out of mediocrity. It is good for a single watching if you are looking for something simple to watch and just unhook your mind.On the plus side, for a semi-stoner movie, then I will say that "Hansel & Gretel Get Baked" actually fared a lot better than many other comedies in the stoner genre.I noticed Cary Elwes was listed on the starting credits, but somehow I failed to catch him in the movie. Where exactly was he?