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Nice effects though.

If the ambition is to provide two hours of instantly forgettable, popcorn-munching escapism, it succeeds.

The first must-see film of the year.

All of these films share one commonality, that being a kind of emotional center that humanizes a cast of monsters.

This one is sorta a mixed spoof of science fiction alien-like monster that hides in the closet, creature horror and silly comedy. We have a helpful scientist wanting to communicate and study the monster. There is a news reporter wanting his first big break looking like Clark Kent. A Priest that is willing to exercise the demon creature. And the military out to hunt down and kill it. The film is pretty much what you think it would be - silly non-sense that is kinda funny at times. The film does not take itself seriously so it easy to kick-back and enjoy.It's a shame that John Carradine's character was killed off very early. They missed out on some potentially really funny scenes.This one is not a bad watch if you like these type films - it's nothing special but OK if nothing better on or you are just in mood for a film of this nature.6/10

This funny and sometimes charming slapstick parody of monster films and mockery of the old "monster in the closet" children's bedtime phobia features some interesting debut performances including, 6'5" Pittsburgh native, Kevin Peter Hall who starred as the original 'Predator', and pop singer, Stacey Ferguson (Fergie) as a child actor. Released by Troma Pictures, this little exercise in satirical humor never takes itself seriously even at its most violent (which isn't very intense anyway given its PG rating). A superman alter-ego-type named Clark is a journalist trying to uncover the mysterious "closet murders" in a small city by what appears to be a random rampaging beast of some sort that travels from closet to closet. Police and citizens are baffled until the monster shows itself, and that's when things really get silly. Clark teams up with a cute, conservative teacher (Denise DuBarry) and Sheriff (Claude Akins) to find a way to stop the snarling monstrosity (Kevin Peter Hall in a rubber suit). This also has some zany performances by Donald Moffet , John Carradine as a blind old man and Henry Gibson as an eccentric scientist. The final solution for this absurdity is a real hoot! "Destroy all closets!" Shot in 1983, but not released until 1987, anyone with even the slightest sense of humor will chuckle at this overlooked little flick.

Wow, I just saw this on T.V. as one of the "scary" movies they show around Halloween. Was this rated G? There wasn't really anything to make this movie scary, or worth watching. Also, other people say this is a spoof, but I don't think so. For a spoof, you need something called "humor". This low-budget crap-fest didn't have a shred of humor, and it didn't make much sense, either. You basically have a goofy looking monster (man in rubber suit) coming out of closets, killing people, I guess, since you never see the monster doing violence to anyone or any bloody aftermath. The spinning newspaper tells you that people were killed by the monster, so I guess that's good enough.The military tries feebly to kill the monster, which isn't much larger than a man. They have very bad aim. Then the military FLEES! Wow, did this movie make the U.S. military look pathetic or what? The monster, while hard to kill, doesn't do much besides shuffle around and roar. Oh, and occasionally a second head pops out of its mouth and shrieks. It was a slightly interesting, yet a total Alien ripoff.What was the deal with the scientist playing the Xylophone to attract the monster? It was hard to understand a lot of the dialog due to the poor sound quality. Also, why did the monster carry around the main wimpy guy for so long? Why didn't the monster go into the closet when it had a chance? Why do I insist on trying to make sense out of the senseless?

Monster in the Closet is set in the small American town of 'Chestnut Hills California' where Mary Lou (Jona Lee), a young girl & the blind Joe Shempter (John Carradine) are all attacked & killed by something nasty in their closets... Jump to 'San Francisco' & the offices of newspaper the 'Daily Globe' where usually ignored reporter Richard Clark (Donald Grant) is given the task of writing a story about the three unexplained murders by his editor Ben Bernstein (Jesse White). Richard drives to Chestnut Hills & heads straight for the local police department to interview Sheriff Sam Ketchem (Claude Akins). There he meets high school biologist Diane Bennett (Denise DuBarry) who thinks some sort of creature my be responsible because of two mysterious puncture wounds on the victims bodies. Richard & Sheriff Ketchem head over to the scene of Mary Lou's murder & Richard finds some sort of claw, he heads over to the school to ask Diane about it. Scientist Dr. Pennyworth (Henry Gibson) says he has never seen anything like it & wants to run some tests on it. Later that night at Diane's house Richard, Pennyworth, a priest named Finnegan (Howard Duff) & Diane's son (Paul Walker) are having dinner when they hear screaming from across the street, Margo (Stella Stevens) claims that her husband Roy (Paul Dooley) has been killed by a monster that came out of the closet. A national emergency is called & the army is called in to combat the threat that the monster in the closet poses...Written & directed by Bob Dahlin I was somewhat surprised that Monster in the Closet was a decent little film. The script is a homage to all those 50's type monster films, from the General who wants to just kill the threat to the scientist who wants to study it & the priest who who thinks religion is the key. The reporter who looks & feels like Clarke Kent from Superman as the hero & the attractive female. Because of the type of comedy horror hat this film is it starts to drag a little & it starts to get a bit boring. The term 'one-joke-film' springs to mind. There are a few amusing moments & if your familiar with the type of film that Monster in the Closet spoofs then you may get a fair amount of enjoyment out of it's 90 odd minute duration. I doubt anyone would want to watch it more than once though & the pointless constant on screen captions become highly annoying.Director Dahlin films with competence on an obviously low budget. The monster itself looks a bit rubbery but I didn't think it looked too bad. There is no blood or gore whatsoever so forget about anything like that. There is a touch of nudity in a shower scene. Apparently Monster in the Closet was filmed in 1983 & was picked-up & released by Troma in 1987, make of that what you will.Technically Monster in the Closet is pretty good, nothing outstanding & it has cheap production values throughout but it ended up being better than I had expected. The acting isn't brilliant but again by no means the worst I've seen, Carradine makes an appearance for all of 4 minutes at the start.Monster in the Closet is a decent little homage to many other sci-fi horror films & fans of those genres would probably get more out of it than others. I personally think it's worth a one-off watch.