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To me, this movie is perfection.

Such a frustrating disappointment

Yo, there's no way for me to review this film without saying, take your *insert ethnicity + "ass" here* to see this film,like now. You have to see it in order to know what you're really messing with.

This is a small, humorous movie in some ways, but it has a huge heart. What a nice experience.

Pocket Ninjas is one of the worst movies mankind has come across. I normally like to watch bad movies just to laugh at them so when I saw this inside the bottom 5 I thought that I would nearly die in hysterical laughing while watching this movie. Yes I did laugh at it for about half of the movie. The reason I say half is because the rest of the movie are training sequences that use the same footage over and over again. By the fourth training sequence I was literally praying that these tedious sequences would come to a close but they didn't. Now to the rest of this junk. The acting was by far way worse than those cheesy commercials on TV. In fact, the acting in this "movie" made the acting in the commercials on TV look Oscar-worthy. All of the actors looked really bored on screen. The story is literally nonexistent. There are countless amounts of huge plot holes and continuity issues in Pocket Ninjas. So much that you'd think it was made to be a parody. But it isn't. Anyways, I wouldn't recommend this crap to anyone.

This is one of the worst movies I have have ever watched. Everything about it is beyond bad. The acting, dialogue, fights, score, and humor are all total crap. The acting from everyone just feels pathetic. The dialogue feels like it was written by a 5 year old. The score is annoying as hell. The humor is failed completely. Then we have the worst thing about it. The sense of action feels void. Most of the movie is just people training. It gets really boring, and then when you reach an actual fight it is filled with loud sound effects that are laughably bad. As for action it feels like they put no effort into it actually being entertaining. The worst part of the movie in my opinion is for sure the bad guys training. It is supposed to be tough guys training, but instead it is just a bunch of silly slapstick to god awful music. It feels laughably bad at first, but it goes on forever to the point of boredom. This movie is just lame. It is as lame as I can imagine a karate movie being. It fails on every level.0 stars out of 4

Aye, aye, aye....where to begin?! This horrible movie is just terrible in just about every way...no, wait...EVERY WAY. My only questions are who was insane enough to think this sort of film would sell AND why is this movie currently only ranked the fifth worst film on IMDb?! The film looks like someone with a few dollars (not that many, actually) thought that other martial arts films are bad because they are violent, have actors with actual martial arts skills and don't star talentless kids and teens. So, they went to their nearest karate studio and recruited all the white, yellow and a few green belt kids and asked them if they wanted to star in a movie! While I saw a lot of people with black belts on here, I just assume they bought them and did nothing to earn them, as my cat knows about as much about self-defense as these knuckleheads!! The plot, not that you'll ever care, is that an evil force (led by a cute 9 year-old) can only be countered by three talentless 'ninjas'. These good ninjas consist of three kids in karate who are given special masks that allow them to have really, really below-average and SLOW fighting skills!! If these kids are the world's only hope,...then we are so royally screwed! There is nothing...nothing positive I can say about this film. Horrible writing (if they even had I writers--I honestly think they just made it up as they went along, horrible action (I hate to even use the word 'action'--this implies something more than Tai Chi speed fighting), inept direction and annoying characters--this film rates a zero in all departments. Plus, the idea of watching a film consisting mostly of obnoxious teens with their annoying dialog is NOT anyone's idea of a good time!! The only value this film might have is to use to interrogate members of Al Qaeda, however Amnesty International would be all over the President's butt if they ever did anything that cruel and inhuman!!

My favorite scene is the one where the White Dragon fights one of Cobra Khan's minions in a carnival building. Also, when Gary Daniels tries to woo the woman in the blue spandex, the outpourings of poetry from his mouth makes me wish it was I that he was speaking to. I once saw a movie called "Manos: The Hands of Fate," and thought it was pretty good. After I saw "Pocket Ninjas," I realized that "pretty good" was just not good enough. I have no wish to turn this review into a panegyric or paean to the beauty and incomprehensible, stunning visual conceptualization of this cinematic masterpiece, but truly, you need to see this if you are ever going to consider yourself a true connoisseur of film. Mmm. I think I'm going to slide it into my DVD player right now. . .