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The Worst Film Ever

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Exactly the movie you think it is, but not the movie you want it to be.

Robert Hamer was not a prolific director; only around a dozen films are credited to him, and because of his serious alcohol problem there is some doubt as to the extent to which he was responsible for some of those, especially his final film, "School for Scoundrels". His career has been described as "the most serious miscarriage of talent in the postwar British cinema", yet during that relatively brief career he was responsible for some of the best British films of the forties and fifties. He is today best remembered for that brilliant Ealing comedy, "Kind Hearts and Coronets", but was capable of producing serious movies as well as comedies; his "It Always Rains on Sunday", for example, is a crime thriller showing the influence of the film noir style.With "The Long Memory" from 1952, Hamer moves even closer in the direction of noir. The plot, based on a novel by Howard Clewes, owes something to Dumas' "The Count of Monte Cristo". A young man is sentenced to imprisonment for a crime he did not commit. Upon his release, he sets out to get revenge upon those responsible for his wrongful conviction, including his treacherous fiancée. The hero, Philip Davidson spends 12 years in prison after being wrongly convicted for murder, a conviction procured by perjured evidence given by his fiancée Fay, her father Captain Driver and a man named Tim Pewsey. Fay's motive for perjuring herself was to protect her elderly father, who had become mixed up in a criminal enterprise with Pewsey and another man named Boyd, the actual murderer.Some purists maintain that film noir was an exclusively American genre, but I have never concurred with that opinion, as there were also a number of British films (and indeed French ones such as "Les Diaboliques") which share the characteristics of noir, and this is one of them. One of the classic noir features is the morally ambiguous lone male hero, and John Mills' Davidson is certainly a character of that type; had this been a Hollywood film he could have been played by Bogart or Mitchum. Although he has been the victim of a grave injustice, and in that sense has a claim on our sympathy, his experiences have made him, in many ways, an unsympathetic character, vindictive and unsociable. After his release he goes to live in a disused barge on the marshes, a dwelling reminiscent of Richard Widmark's wooden shack by the riverside in a great American noir, "Pickup on South Street". Davidson's closest friend is another of life's victims, wartime refugee named Ilse, and he has other allies in his fight to clear his name, including Craig, a journalist, and Superintendent Bob Lowther, a policeman who believes that a miscarriage of justice may have occurred. Lowther's position, however, is made difficult by the fact that he is married to Fay, the woman whose lies were responsible for Davidson's conviction.Other noir characteristics present in this film include dramatic, expressionistic black-and-white photography and a gritty urban setting, with the dingy backstreets of Gravesend (a riverside port east of London and not normally regarded as an important cinematic location) here fulfilling the role which in an American noir would played by Los Angeles or New York. The setting is not, however, exclusively urban; many scenes were shot on the North Kent Marshes, the area around Gravesend and Rochester immortalised by Dickens in "Great Expectations". This marshland landscape around the Thames and Medway Estuaries, an area which I know well, is not conventionally beautiful in the way in which, say, the Lake District or the Cotswolds are beautiful. Indeed, it can often be bleak and forbidding, but it is also powerfully atmospheric. It makes a fitting setting for this tale of crime and revenge and gives the film has a strong sense of place. The film ends with justice being done, but here too there is a note of doubt and uncertainty; it is not, for example, clear whether Lowther's marriage to Fay can survive the revelations about her past.The most famous British noir is probably "The Third Man", a British-made film even though it is set in Vienna. "The Long Memory" is less well-known, but with a strong performance from Mills in the leading role, its powerful storyline and Hamer's atmospheric direction I would place it in the same class as Carol Reed's masterpiece. 9/10

This is a prime example of Lead Soufflé School Of Light Entertainment. How dire is it? Let me count the ways. On second thought better not, wed be here all day. It's from that school of Realism where scrap metal dealers wear bow ties and carnations in the lapel whilst presiding over huge totally empty warehouses that would, in a film boasting even a scintilla of realism, be bursting with scrap metal. There's only one employee on view, Harold Lang, who trebles as receptionist, switchboard operator and chauffeur to say nothing of purveyor of smart, sophisticated dialogue. Sample: John McCallum to Lang. 'How does this (indicating switchboard) work? Lang: 'Find out'. This sets up an intriguing question. Was this film ghost-written by 1)Geoge Kaufman and Moss Hart, 2)Joseph L. Mankiewicz, or 3) Billy Wilder and Charles Brackett. Answers on a postcard, please, to: Do I Look As Though I Give A Big Rat's Ass. Amongst other delights this movie boasts one of the most improbable menage a trois on record with Thora Hird and Vida Hope vying for the attentions of a punch-drunk John Slater, proud owner of a bashed-in face that makes Lon Chaney look like Tom Cruise. The plot? It is to laugh.

The more one watches this film, the more inconsistencies reveal themselves. These do not detract from the overall intensity of the drama unfolding before your eyes ; one is almost a voyeur in a dingy world that hopefully doesn't exist anymore..... or does it? That's for the voyeur to contemplate or despair of. Those who know this area of the Kent coast in England will identify the Chetney Marshes on the Medway Estuary as the prime location ; as bleak a location as you can get - mud flats as far as the eye can see. However, as the tide come in, the scene changes dramatically as the boats come in to harbour along the coastline. The other location in Gravesend, Kent is no longer there, but part of Queen Street still exists (for the time being). The church so prominently displayed is St. Andrews on the waterfront and is now open to visitors as an Arts Centre. One annoying blooper is the Inspector at the end who forgets to negate the possession of a gun licence that the old scavenger hasn't got after having just shot the villain! Yet another blooper is the exodus from Waterloo at the start of the film, when in fact they should be boarding the train to Gravesend! Still, I am a man of Kent, I know these things. Don't let any of these points deter you from watching the best of British. It's a great film.

This is an excellent British film, which has managed to pass the test of time, and still stands today as an absorbing & well executed piece of work. The story line is strong, and the locations are particularly memorable, especially the bleak & foreboding Kent coastline which adds significantly to the brooding atmosphere. The performances are uniformly excellent, with the sole exception of Elizabeth Sellars who barely changes expression throughout. John Mills gives one of his most intense performances in the lead role, and demonstrates once again what an extremely fine actor he always was. The direction & editing are first class, and the film never falters in holding the attention. For fans of the genre, this is not to be missed.