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Undescribable Perfection

Great Film overall

Story: It's very simple but honestly that is fine.

Although I seem to have had higher expectations than I thought, the movie is super entertaining.

"Diane Marshall" (Angel Tompkins) is a 28 year-old teacher who wants a divorce from her 40 year-old husband. Sexually frustrated, she wants to have an affair with an 18 year-old student named "Sean Roberts" (Peter North) who has just graduated from high school and is off for the summer. Unfortunately, there is a mentally disturbed person named "Ralph Gordon" (Anthony James) who is completely obsessed with Diane and becomes insanely jealous of the attention Diane is lavishing on Sean. Adding to the tension is the fact that Ralph's brother, "Lou Gordon" (Rudy Herrera Jr.) was recently killed in an altercation when Ralph caught Sean and Lou spying on Diane. Ralph blames Sean for Lou's death even though it was clearly an accident. Anyway, rather than spoil the movie for those who haven't seen it, I will just say that this type of low-budget film was quite typical at drive-ins during the mid-70's. The plot was extremely basic, the dialogue was awful and the love scenes were laughable. Quite frankly, the only good thing about this movie was the presence of Angel Tompkins as she was simply divine. Everything else was quite forgettable. That said, I will rate it as only slightly below average even though it feels like a bit of a stretch to rate it even that high.

This film opens with a truly awful, ear-grinding, song; probably called 'Every Boy Needs a Teacher', but thankfully it doesn't completely give an early warning sign of what's to come. While both the film and the song are very low rent and lacking in quality; there is actually a solid story lurking somewhere behind the crappy script and ridiculous acting; and that makes The Teacher a very enjoyable slice of drive-in cheese. The story is rather tame by today's standards; and given some of the films I've seen from the early seventies; it's pretty tame for 1974 too. The plot focuses on an eighteen year old lad named Sean. Sean and his friend Lou go to the top of an old warehouse to borrow Lou's crazy brother's binoculars in order to spy on Diane; their teacher, sunbathing topless. However, tragedy strikes when the brother catches the pair; and Lou ends up tumbling to his death. The summer improves, however, when Diane; who happens to be a friend of Sean's mother, begins to take an interest in the lad. Meanwhile, Lou's crazy brother is still on Sean's tail.First thing's first, the acting in this movie is some of the worst I've ever seen (and I'm no stranger to movies with ridiculously bad acting!). The two leads, Angel Tompkins and Jay North, are at least good looking pair, but they absolutely can't act (nor can anyone else in this film). The script is not much better and leads the bad actors into delivering silly and mistimed dialogue, which brings the film down further. However, the base plot is a rather good one - it's simply an older woman seducing a young man, but it's very sexy; and if anything the sexiness is increased by the lack of talented scriptwriting since we waste no time in getting straight into the main point. The sub-plot involving the crazy brother stalking the pair doesn't get in the way as much as it might have done; I preferred the parts dealing with the central relationship between the lead characters, but the two go together well. It all boils down to a real downer of an ending, however. I don't mind a sad ending; but when a film is as bright and happy as this one (to illustrate the point, the death towards the start of the film is barely given a moment's notice by any character in the film), I wasn't expecting it to end like that!

For thirty-three years I'd been jonesing to see THE TEACHER, grindhouse auteur Hikmet Avedis' homage to THE GRADUATE, which somehow eluded me during its original Times Square run. Blessed is the patient schlock film fan, for his forbearance shall be rewarded. Thanks to the miracle of DVD and the munificence of BCI Eclipse, I finally caught up with this much-touted jewel in the Crown International catalog, and am pleased to report that it was all that and a bag of Swavorski rhinestones. Like its contemporary, THE GODFATHER: PART II, THE TEACHER is daring in its narrative structure. Unlike the Coppola film it's also ludicrous in the extreme, but then you can't have everything. Part leering soft-core romp, part tender coming-of-age drama, part stalk-and-chill suspenser, the movie's mismatched ingredients come together to form a blissfully surreal, silly whole.The cast list alone makes it deserving of enshrinement in the Psychotronic Hall of Fame.First and foremost, there's top-billed and bottom-perfect Angel Tompkins as a middle schooler's fantasy come to life, the hubba hubba homeroom teacher who just happens to be freshly divorced, hot to trot, and living right down the block. Charming and sensitive, Tompkins gives a performance that goes above and beyond the call of booty. She invests the role with such persuasive passion that one can almost believe her attraction to a most unlikely lust object: Jay North, the actor formerly known as Dennis the Menace, age twenty-two, sporting a double chin, a perpetual smirk, a Little Lord Fauntleroy page boy, and no discernible acting talent. To his credit, North is in the moment and then some during several graphic clinches with Angel. Mr. Wilson would have been aghast. Or green with envy. I was both.The call sheet also includes such bizarro world superstars as Med Flory (Worshefski, the bullying football player, in THE NUTTY PROFESSOR) as North's bullying father, Barry "Janos Skorzeny" Atwater as a snoopy sheriff, BURNT OFFERING's Anthony James as a psycho stalker, and in WTF-writ large cameos, Katherine "Mother of John" Cassevetes and Lady "Mother of Gena" Rowlands as a pair of chattering restaurant patrons.

This was a surprise for me as I was expected a much more shabby offering and having already enjoyed Pick-Up on the same disc nearly didn't bother with it. But, it's really well done. True, some of the acting is a little wayward and although Jay North plays the reluctant young man a little too much at first, once he gets into his stride the pairing with the well on form, Angel Tomkins, works very well. In fact for once the older woman/younger man coming together is pretty believable. This may be because the actual discrepancy between their ages was almost that mentioned in the film, although eight years rather than ten. Admittedly Anthony James' weirdo is somewhat over the top but altogether I think the whole thing gels and I found that instead of much disc skipping, I had a most enjoyable ninety minutes or so in its company