Watch La Belle Noiseuse For Free

Save your money for something good and enjoyable

It's no definitive masterpiece but it's damn close.

Best movie ever!

Easily the biggest piece of Right wing non sense propaganda I ever saw.

Elitist porn i suppose. Acting is mediocre and it's all contrived and silly. Typical French cinema. Italians are warm and smart and this is cold and dumb. An aging artist getting his kicks out of being sullen and uninteresting. The aging artist has a wife who used to pose for him and they almost split up over it. Big deal! They all sit around eating or hanging out when not doing the art naked bit. The conversations are as stilted and boring as anything i've heard. French mumbo jumbo yakking and yakking and yakking about 'nothing of any importance. They have a tone in their voice as if to say their talking is important and it's as trite as can be. There's no substance or plot. I think i could have liked it if it were 90 minutes long. But, even 90 of this is too much. Whether his art is 'good' or 'bad' is irrelevant. Everyone is an 'artist' i some way. Just slow pretentious talking going nowhere. 80% of the film is just scratching paper. I guess were supposed to think this is 'the artists process' which is ridiculous since all artists work different. There is no humor anywhere in the nearly 4 hours. I can't recall one ounce of humor or levity. Artists i know , during posing sessions may carry on a conversation but it's not going to be pretentious short of the mark philosophizing from nowhere going nowhere. There's no point to this bore. The words are put in these folks mouths by writers who have their heads in the clouds. One guy said 'good show if you like watching paint dry'. That sums it up perfectly. I wouldn't watch the rest if i hadn't paid to watch it. I'm writing this while the aging artist and wife are arguing with words that mean nothing. The model is so stilted and dull. I don't think there is even a smile. Everyone is SULLEN and SAD. Dull people doing dull things. Blows my mind people like this. I ain't on that band wagon' This flick is ridiculous.

The former famous painter Frenhofer (Michel Piccoli) revisits an abandoned project using the girlfriend (Emmanuelle Béart) of a young visiting artist. Questions about truth, life, and artistic limits are explored.The film is loosely adapted from the short story "The Unknown Masterpiece" by Honoré de Balzac and also includes elements from "The Liar", "The Figure in the Carpet", and "The Aspern Papers" by Henry James. One does not need to have read any of these works to appreciate the film, however.Some critics say the film is like watching paint dry, because very little happens and it has a running time of over four hours! But, at the same time ,this is sort of its charm. It just goes slow, unfolding, and getting the job done. Is the story of the artist or the model? Do they grow together, or grow apart?

Now how more obvious can it be? This movie … 236 minutes … is classic Emperor's new clothes material. (Classic,because there actually are no clothes…)I can't believe people are cowards when they are afraid they might be exposed as idiots when they don't understand something that is actually pretentious horse manure.This movie should have been called Captain Crayon and Lieutenant U-Whora. Just for the fun of it they should have changed roles and she starts drawing his ancient, decrepit body for 3 hours 45 minutes of the 4 hours. Or miss an arm. Or turning out to be a hermaphrodite 2 hours into the movie. Just to annoy the voyeurs. THEN I would believe the "Arts" argument.This is no better than "Showgirls" or that "Striptease". Just something for people too ashamed to buy porn.Let's summarize the plot of this - an annoying stuttering, mumbling painter (played by Michel Piccoli, who has seen better days in his acting career) discovers through the help of a young naked lady that he DOES want to draw naked women after being turned off having to use his (obviously jealous) wife for too long. Duh! No: Double-Duh! Bottom Line of this Movie: "Don't paint your wife" (Spoiler alert) – it took them 4 HOURS for that …? Eeuww…what a gross piece of self importance.So this is a movie about "the artistic process"? Gee-whizz that it should include a naked woman. Michel Piccoli - I find him quite nauseating lately - the way he mumbles incomprehensibly when he's stuttering around. What a typical pseudo-artistic french Nincompoopeur, I'm sorry Mitch! Mitch Piccoli – I bet there's a French version of Baywatch about to break on the T.V. scene with him and his grey chest hair wobbling up the French Riviera somewhere. "Protecting French sun-bathers from U.S. literature with paperback French existentialist essential reading. "As for Beart's new look – wasn't she even in some commercial? … just a minute … yes, it was an H&M advert where she runs around lingerie-clad in an apartment seducing an invisible stalker. Great message … On the often heard argument on sexiness: "why can't she dress and be sexy if she wants to?" Because you can't have everything. It just doesn't work: A small fraction of women come across sexy AND smart because backing up the "smart part" is oh so difficult. And "sexy" is associated with "slut" – that's how it is, and there is a reason for that. Once again: "denial". (#1 illness of today).In fact: A French woman with silicone implants – how decadent is that. Or did she only get her implants after she found a French translation for "Silicone Implants"? I'd bet my Bentley, Ocean Dreamhouse and Silicone Shaped Dream-Wife on that fact.Now if the French women also start shaving their armpits (which Americans will never believe) we might be getting somewhere. (Eternal Damnation and such)Once again: I'm speechless about the chuzpe/irony of a French actress being shallow like a Hollywood bimbo by inflating her body parts and STILL expecting to have some artistic French quality about her… Unfortunately it takes some actresses DECADES to bed enough important people to get any decent roles and then they need surgery. Life is so unfair, you know.This movie is a good example for the French's predilection for pouting Lolitas. Pervs…One reviewer here professed that he fell asleep. Another said her body wasn't perfect – maybe she read it and got her appointment at the surgeon immediately. Someone said the movie is a "foot-wiggler" – right, either because of boredom or the suppressed sexual thoughts when seeing a woman wriggle around naked – which is absolutely cool & probably the only true quality of this sorry effort.

It's incomprehensible why anyone would hazard the making of this movie. As a wonderful tour of a classic French farm house, and the creation of every artists' ideal of the perfect French artist's studio it's perfect. Otherwise it's a self important, arty disaster - even though that certainly isn't the opinion of virtually every "external review" I read. If it's French, dares to be 4 hours long, and deals with A R T it must be a masterpiece. The artist used for the endless exploratory sketches is embarrassingly bad and the final showing of "the masterpiece" (or at least the one we get to see and not the one bricked into the studio wall)is such bad art and such an anti-climax that the camera lingers on it only as long as it's forced to.Beart demonstrates what every art school student learns in their first life drawing class: that the nude human body is beautiful and when presented naturally is devoid of all the contrived sexiness that our society layers on it.If the painting and drawing had been talented and exciting, the pace picked up and the actors given some clearer roles that they could inhabit, the wonderful ambiance of the house and the studio would not have been wasted.