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This story has more twists and turns than a second-rate soap opera.

The movie's neither hopeful in contrived ways, nor hopeless in different contrived ways. Somehow it manages to be wonderful

what a terribly boring film. I'm sorry but this is absolutely not deserving of best picture and will be forgotten quickly. Entertaining and engaging cinema? No. Nothing performances with flat faces and mistaking silence for subtlety.

It's simply great fun, a winsome film and an occasionally over-the-top luxury fantasy that never flags.

Imagine if you will a universe where Katy Perry and Taylor Swift are paid hitmen working for Danny Trejo in another cameo role. Violet (Alexis Bledel) and Daisy (Saoirse Ronan) are downright enjoyable in this quirky dark comedy. This is a genius indie designed to give you a Merrillee Rush. Violet and Daisy come across an easy hit (James Gandolfini) which causes them to examine their lives...one where they met as doll surgeons and life is about a Barbara Sunday designer dress.Some lines from the film:About the number one killer: "He once killed 3 ninjas with a fingernail file." Violet theology: "Heaven is a place...where everything is free or at least wholesale." And "Everything is a test when you are a career woman."Excellent musical score using classical rock tunes to give them new meaning.Parental Guide: F-bomb. No sex or nudity.Written by Geoffrey Fletcher, the first African-American to win an Oscar for best adapted screenplay - "Precious."

I was looking forward to this movie, but c'mon... when Alexis Biedel's character is breezily sauntering around looking for bullets, and runs into the other gang of assassins who were hired to do the same job, she doesn't think to warn her partner who is back at the apartment alone - with no bullets? The story line just made a big deal about her last partner being killed, but... "No, I'm a Gilmore girl -- it won't happen today.". Then it gets even more stupid, when after offing the other assassin crew in James Gandolfini's apartment, and someone knocks on the door, they're sitting there all freaked out because they again "have no bullets left" -- yet there's what, five dead assassins on the floor at their feet -- they've got lots of bullets -- and guns to put them in (in case they don't match the girl's weapons)! But, "Oh no, we only know how to shoot our own guns... we WILL only shoot our own guns, even if it means certain death!". WTF!!! Had to turn it off then, can only handle so much stupid in my lifetime. And just to be clear, the problem(s) with this film for me, wasn't with the actual acting or actors, but the script, the intent, the actors had to work with. It was such a great collection of talent -- all pretty much wasted here in my opinion.

The two 'heroines' of this piece make for the most unconvincing hitpeople I've ever seen in any media, but that isn't really the point. The fact is, this is supposed to be a JOKE... that these two girlie girls who seem obsessed with all things cute and feminine, are so relaxed and detached from their everyday job of laying out their targets on a slab. We're meant to find their quirks endearing too, I guess... such as in the opening scene, when they're dressed as nuns delivering a pizza (with machine gun hidden underneath, of course.) But, does it work?Not in the slightest. The dialogue is self-consciously wacky, to a degree that we KNOW we're not watching flesh and blood individuals, but characters dreamed up by a bad scriptwriter that lack any validity whatsoever. People come and go, either being shot by our feisty duo or uttering a few lines before disappearing for good. They all have one thing in common though: never doing anything or saying anything remotely interesting, in what is a tedious slog of a motion picture which will be testing the strength of your eyelids from the get-go.The late great James Gandolfini plays their latest victim, a terminally ill crook who seems remarkably at peace with his fate. In a better written film, his conversations of life and love with the girls might have been moving passages. Instead, they come across as forced and unemotional garbage, and because they take up most of the length, only add to the feeling you could be doing something much better with your hollow life. In fact, with three characters named after flowers (Daisy, Violet, Rose) all we needed was a Hyacinth to complete the Bucket Sisters from the classic sitcom Keeping Up Appearances.Useless trivia, I know. But FAR more intriguing to dwell on than anything else in this snore inducing cure for insomnia. 2/10

I had great expectations for this movie. I mean, how could you miss with the great James Gandolfini and wonderful Saoirse Ronan as headliners (and Alexis Bledel is certainly eyeworthy), and yet the first time through this film I did not enjoy the experience. Then it dawned on me, well, duh, this film is intended to be a Tarantino parody, and it went up several stars in my estimation. Of course, making a parody of a QT film is problematic, because Quentin films are already parodies of other genres such as kung fu, grindhouse, and noir. And so, in a sense, the filmmaker is making a parody of a parody. I mean, Saoirse playing patty-cakes with Danny Trejo? The scene is totally Quentinesque to a ludicrous extreme. And that's parody.Other motifs that echo and exaggerate Tarantino's style include the implausible violence sequences that can only exist in some alternate film universe (think Black Mamba single-handedly wiping out a small army of yakuza in "Kill Bill,") and the interminable gabfest that fills out a QT script (these people love to talk and talk and talk)... And so, as a parody of a parody, and for its very impressive cast, this film is worth an amused watch.