Watch Malibu Express For Free

Fresh and Exciting

I like movies that are aware of what they are selling... without [any] greater aspirations than to make people laugh and that's it.

All of these films share one commonality, that being a kind of emotional center that humanizes a cast of monsters.

By the time the dramatic fireworks start popping off, each one feels earned.

This is the first film I've watched from my Andy Sidaris 12-film box set (aptly titled Girls, Guns and G-Strings) and if I had any sense it would probably be the last (sadly, I have very little nous when it comes to my choice in film, so it looks like I have my work cut out for me). Sidaris's formula is simple: dumb action films with dumb heroes and sexy women. The men boast big 'taches, big guns and big muscles; the women sport big hair, big tits, and unfeasibly tiny outfits. But while this might sound like B-movie heaven, in Sidaris's hands, it all proves rather tiresome, the deliberate trashiness becoming really boring, really quick.The plot to Malibu Express comes second to the macho posturing and female nudity, so I won't go into detail, other than to say that it's about industrial espionage and it's crap—not that the action is much better, consisting of poorly choreographed fight scenes, unconvincing shootouts, and the occasional car chase. Even worse is the comic relief, which comes in the form of a family of obnoxious, obese hicks who repeatedly challenge cowboy private eye Cody to drag races—imagine Enos from The Dukes of Hazzard, crossed with Sheriff J.W. Pepper from Bond, the Beverly Hillbillies, and those bikers from Every Which Way You Can, and you still won't come close to how inane and irritating these characters are.The women are, of course, all attractive (fat hillbilly mother and wheelchair-bound matriarch aside), all over-sexed, and all over the hero, meaning that there are regular bouts of soft-core sex. With such regular titillation on display, it soon loses its novelty factor. Who would have thought that big tits could become tedious? I had more fun keeping a mental tally of the shower scenes and marvelling at the treasure trove of now defunct technology that is on display throughout the film (Cody drives a Delorean, and is mighty proud of his pager and micro-cassette Dictaphone; bad guy Shane opted for Betamax to record his sex sessions).Malibu Express's wall-to-wall hot totty means that, according to my strict(ish) code, I am compelled to give the film a 4/10; Sybil Danning topless always earns another point, making it a 5 in total, but on no account take that rating as a recommendation.

Although this is just like the other Sadaris movies, with lots of T and A (and I'm not complaining about that), this one is way better than the others. Here's why: Darby Hinton. He is actually engaging, and he gives a fine, believable performance. For the ladies, he's exceptionally good looking, and built like a Greek God. He should have gone on to better things.Sybil Danning. She's always impressed me with her acting, and boy does she look sensational! I'd watch any film she's featured in.Good story. It's well-above the usual Sadaris films.This film has one major gaff in it. I don't recall ever seeing a movie in which a guy gets stabbed in the gut, and his wound is revealed before he's ever stabbed! What's with that? Funny, though. Sadaris should be able to "fix" that problem in a matter of minutes, with modern-day tech skills.I have this DVD, and wouldn't take anything for it. Well worth repeat viewing! Two thumbs up, even with the gaff!

And I've still yet to finish watching it! Definitely the guiltiest pleasure one could have. How can you not like a movie that features quasi-attractive 80's playmates and a red DeLorean! I recommend this to everyone.

Okay, guys, why do we watch Andy Sidaris films?That's right, and more power to him, I say.Any guy who makes a living out of making red-blooded movies about murder, deceit, blackmail and double-crosses then loads them with more beautiful women than a year's worth of Playboy subscriptions is my kinda film maker.Hinton is the detective on the case but let's not talk about him. What about those ladies? Weismeier, Edwards, Sutton and Michaels are all women who deserve a second look (or third or fourth or seventeenth), but then there's Sybil Danning.Anyone familiar with my reviews of her movies knows I think any Sybil is good Sybil and this one is about as good as it gets. She is out in full force and takes command of the screen like no one else.But even if you just pay attention to the story, that won't hurt, either. It's actually a good one this time around and makes you wonder what the next plot twist is.The perfect guy movie. Sorry, ladies.Eight stars and a big shiny pistol for "Malibu Express".