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Waste of time

This is a tender, generous movie that likes its characters and presents them as real people, full of flaws and strengths.

It's easily one of the freshest, sharpest and most enjoyable films of this year.

The movie's neither hopeful in contrived ways, nor hopeless in different contrived ways. Somehow it manages to be wonderful

The film recaps the 1984 classic, including a few memorable nude scenes so you can keep up. The nuclear plant was bull dozed and over top of it was placed an organic food company which sells stuff to the local charter school. The green substance from the food has different effects on people from exploding heads and burning bodies to becoming "Cretins" as did the glee club.Chrissy (Asta Paredes) the main character runs a blog about the evils of Tromorganic Plant. Catherine Corcoran plays Lauren, the new girl who joins Chrissy.The humor is non-stop Troma over the top. It is inane and crude as expected. The film also has some spoofs. The teachers' names are Mr. Chips and Miss Crabtree. The principal impersonates Nixon when he talks. The party sex scene is a spoof of the party sex scene in the original 1984 film. It also has some lines that made me laugh. When Lauren was "duck raped" and had a duck's head lodged in her mouth, Chrissy says to her, "Get in, fowl mouth." Ouch! I had to laugh.Part one ends abruptly (Shades of Hobbit 2) in what appears to be a Carrie-like shower scene.Film includes exploding heads, large fake male organs, melting breasts, plus your typical Troma style blood and gore.This film will appeal to only a narrow audience, i.e. Troma fans. 8 stars on the Troma scale.Perv Guide: F-bomb, sex, and nudity (Catherine Corcoran, Asta Paredes plus about 9 others) In a few of the scenes Asta reminded me of Anne Kendricks, and that can't be all bad.

Troma is at it's best again. What the guy who wrote the other review saw is wrong is everything right with this movie. It brings everything you want, the grossness, the sexiness and the ridiculousness. This time around though there is actually some acting talent to be found. Asta Paredes, Catherine Corcoran are really good actresses who I suppose we'll see in more movies in the future. As for the movie itself. The plot is useless, as always the effects gory and purposefully bad but that's why we're watching this is it. There is for instant a car flipping over, where you see that it's taken from some other movie but you don't care. Another funny thing about this movie are the texts put in by the makers explaining why everything is logical. They are great and really add to this movie. The end really makes you want more. Sadly Even LLoyd Kaufman himself doesn't know when the second Part will be ready yet.

How to review a movie like this? The first minute or so we get a fast-forward recap of all the previous Nuke 'Em High movies. The nuclear plant was destroyed and an organic food plant has been build on top of the ruins. A new girl starts school. She's given a hard time by some cute tough chick. On Taco Tuesday the food plant provides the ingredients. All the kids who eat it become mutants. The new girl as a pet duck that also becomes infected and infects the new girl in the craziest way. In the meantime new girl and tough girl have fallen for each other and now both become mutants as well as the school's singing club which have become The Cretins.It's been years since I've seen a Troma movie. I never was much of a fan. And Return to Nuke 'Em High Volume 1 isn't going to turn me into one either. It's got great gore scenes, very good nudity from the two gorgeous leads: Catherine Corcoran and Asta Paredes. That's about it. The humor wouldn't be funny to 10 year olds. It's more interested in being offensive and dumb, as expected. It even manages to ruin the two main characters. It's impressive though to see a young cast so committed to doing whatever is asked of them. A shame Troma doesn't know what to with them. Still I'll probably check out part 2 just so see more of Cathy and Asta.

Being apart of this masterpiece was a very fun time. This film thrived so well and everyone that was apart of it was amazing in the film. The slapstick comedy is pure and genuine and this is one of the most respectable B-movies I have ever seen. From the opening credits to the end, you will leave yourself on the edge of your seat, in tears from continuous laughter and your gut might even throb. This movie proves to show that money isn't what makes a good film, but the hard work that is put into making it is. Lloyd Kaufman's visions are always different than other filmmakers, but that's what makes him a genius. He is a true director and stays true to the way he makes movies and to what him and his fans love. Check it out, pick up a copy, and support this classic film of independent art. 10/10