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Touches You

Simply A Masterpiece

A lot of fun.

At first rather annoying in its heavy emphasis on reenactments, this movie ultimately proves fascinating, simply because the complicated, highly dramatic tale it tells still almost defies belief.

'Tales that Witness Madness', isn't that a great title! Problem is it's the best part of the film. This is another of those horror anthology movies that seemed more popular in the 70s. There are a few I really enjoyed like 'Asylum'. I watch them hoping for more of the same. This one seemed to have real potential with a cast that includes Donald Pleasence, Jack Hawkins, Joan Collins and even Kim Novak. It's another example of how even a good cast can't save a dull movie. The stories are predictable and even laughable at times. It even seemed to me like a comedy spoof of horror anthologies. The first story has been done way too many times. It's about a lonely child's imaginary friend that turns out to be all too real. Then there's a story about a haunted photograph. It made little sense. The most laughable of the stories was the one with Joan Collins. She plays the beautiful and seductive wife of a man who is more in love with a strange looking tree he finds. Yes, I said a tree. He moves it into their living room. Eventually it takes the place of Joan in the bedroom too. Talk about a wooden lover! Yeah this dork actually picks a tree over his beautiful wife. The last film with Kim Novak was too disturbing. Not disturbing because it's scar,y disturbing because I don't like to see bad things happening to good people like what happens to the innocent young girl. Mr. Pleasence and Mr. Hawkins are used in the framing story about two Psychiatrists who are colleagues. One claims to have made some sort of discovery. That is the start of the stories. The surprise ending to the framing story was also predictable. Still at least the finale was a bit scary. I give this movie a generous 4 out of 10.

This was the last of the British horror anthology flicks from the late 60's/early 70's that I still had to see, and I intensely searched for it because I've always been a great fan of the Amicus formula. Some of their versatile portmanteau film rank highly among my list of favorites, like "The House that Dripped Blood" and "Asylum", and even the lesser qualitative efforts were nevertheless still very enjoyable. I don't know what exactly went wrong with the stories and set-up of "Tales that witness Madness", but it's a very inferior and severely disappointing film in comparison with all the other British anthology horror films from that era. The main issue lies in Jennifer Jayne's screenplay, which comes up with supernatural-themed stories full of absurd gimmicks, paradoxes and downright crazy situations. It already begins with a wannabe mysterious wraparound story in which a peculiarly behaving doctor – played by Donald Pleasance – guides a fellow doctor through the psychiatric ward of a mental institution and stops to elaborate on four of his heaviest cases. The first story is about an unhappy 8-year-old boy who seeks imaginary friendship with a tiger (!) because his parents continuously argue and neglects his needs. The boring and predictable build-up of the story is more or less compensated through a bloody climax, but "Mr. Tiger" nevertheless remains a senseless and dull quickie that appears to have been improvised at the spot by the actors. The second story opens potentially atmospheric and sinister, with an antique dealer slowly going deranged due to the evil influence of an ancient portrait that he baptized Uncle Albert. The portrait is somehow telepathically linked to a penny-farthing. Whenever the eyes of Uncle Albert force Timothy to ride the hi-wheeler, he gets teleported back in time and reincarnates as the man from the painting. I presume the initial set up was that the guy in the painting wanted him to witness 'something' in the park, but it never gets that far because Timothy's girlfriend sets fire to the penny-farthing. This segment slowly evolves from interesting into infuriatingly bad and ridicule, with time paradoxes and nonsensical symbolism about reincarnation. The third segment is a load of rubbish as well, but at least it's rubbish starring Joan Collins. Her husband develops a strange obsession for a piece of tree that he takes home and puts in the middle of the living room. I don't think that any woman would like a piece of rotting and moist wood in her house, but whenever Bella comes near the thing she suffers from nightmarish visions in which she gets raped in the woods. "Mel" is arguably the best story of the four, but still very silly and unmemorable. The final segment is possibly even twice as boring and inept as the three previous ones combined. By this time, my interest in the film had already vanished, but I seem to remember something about a really ugly guy sacrificing the virgin daughter of a wealthy high- society lady to a phallic statue and serving her flesh at the diner table. Sounds gruesome enough, but the story itself is slow-paced and unimaginably pretentious. "Tales that witness Madness" was one of my personal biggest disappointments ever. None of the stories can hold a candle to even the weakest segments of any other Amicus production and even the experienced veteran director Freddie Francis can't make the film remotely interesting.

Freddie Francis directed a lot of the best omnibus films that Amicus had to offer; but unfortunately, this isn't one of them. It would seem that the studio was running out of ideas after the likes of The House that Dripped Blood and The Vault of Horror, as every story in this film feels like an afterthought. The wraparound revolves around a mental home, where Doctor Tremayne is showing someone around his various patients. We then get treated to the story behind how they all got there. These films normally start off with a lacklustre tale, and this one is no different as the first features a young kid with a tiger. Nothing particularly of note for this tale, except for the fact that you'll be hoping it gets better. It does, but only slightly. The second story is completely stupid and also rather boring as we follow an antique store owner who gets a penny farthing bicycle and finds that it's a time machine and he can go back into the past, under the watchful eye of a painting of 'Uncle Albert'. Again, there's nothing particularly of note here and the way it plods out is far from interesting.The third tale is undoubtedly the best, and is the weird story of a man who falls in love with a tree stump. Aside from the obvious fact that you simply wouldn't bring an old piece of wood into the house (even if you are in a film about madness), this story is pretty good; it's funny enough and interesting in all the right places. It's not enough to save the film in its own right, but had all the segments been as good as this one; Tales That Witness Madness would have been a decent film. The final tale is extremely tedious and succeeds only in bring a slow end to the movie. The final tale follows a weird bloke who is involved in some kind of devilish sorcery. I know I won't remember what happened for long. These films almost always conclude their wraparound stories, and Tales That Witness Madness is no exception. However, like the rest of the film; the conclusion to the wraparound feels a lot like an afterthought and doesn't succeed in bringing any intrigue to a film severely lacking in it. Overall, Tales that Witness Madness features one decent story and three limp ones, and Amicus have certainly done a lot better.

A Rolls-Royce pulls up outside some large metal gates. A sign on a wall next to the gates says 'H.M. Prison Commission, Department of Psychiatric Medicine. Prof. R.C. Tremayne, MD Phd BSc', basically it's an asylum and Tremayne is in charge. Once past the gates and inside the building Dr. Nicholas (Jack Hawkins) congratulates his friend Dr. Tremayne (Donald Pleasence) on his breakthrough. They walk around the asylum and visit four patients who each have a story revolve around them. First up it's a young boy named Paul (Russell Lewis) in a segment called 'Mr. Tiger'.Paul's parents Faye (Georgia Brown) and Sam Patterson (Donald Houston) are always arguing. Paul's tutor Phillipe (David Wood) tells Faye about Paul's imaginary friend named 'Mr. Tiger' who is unsurprisingly a tiger. Obviously everyone thinks Paul is making it up. That is until Faye finds claw marks on a door............Nicholas and Tremayne then visit Timothy Patrick (Peter McEnery), which leads us into the second story called 'Penny Farthing'.Timothy's Aunt has recently died and left him a lot of antiques for his shop which he runs with his wife Ann (Suzy Kendall). Included with the items are a photograph of Timothy's stiff-upper lipped Uncle Albert (Frank Forsyth) and a penny farthing. While working late one night Timothy becomes possessed by Albert who makes him get on the penny farthing and start to peddle. This takes Timothy to another time and place, but for what possible reason.........?Next up it's Brian (Micheal Jayston) and a short story called 'Mel'.While out running one day Brian finds a strangely and interestingly shaped log. He drags it home as he thinks he can 'do something with it'. Much to the displeasure of his girlfriend Bella (Joan Collins). Brian becomes obsessed with it. But there seems to be something odd about the log, it's almost as if it were alive. Eventually Bella decides either the log goes or she does, with unexpected results.......Finally it's Auriol Pageant (Kim Novak) and her segment is called 'Luau'.Auriol is expecting an important client, an author named Kimo (Micheal Petrovitch) and his assistant Keoki (Leon Lissek) to fly into the country. Auriol decides she has to show him a good time and impress. First of all she takes Kimo and Keoki out to dinner, along with Auriol's daughter Virginia (Mary Tamm). Kimo then starts to take an unhealthy interest in Virginia's personal life. Meanwhile Auriol is planning on having an Hawaiian party as a surprise for Kimo, and the centrepiece being a large pork roast. However, it soon becomes clear that Kimo and Keoki have their own ideas as to what type of meat should be served..........Back at the asylum there is one final horrifying twist before the end credits roll. Directed by Freddie Francis I thought this was an average anthology and the individual stories themselves are a mixed bag to say the least. One of the problems is the script by Jennifer Jayne as Jay Fairbank. With an anthology film like this the segments need to be short and have a memorable twist at the end, in this case only the story called 'Mel' does. Mr. Tiger is very predictable, as soon as the word tiger is mentioned you know exactly what's going to happen in the end and it's not a surprise when it does. Penny farthing is just plain surreal and bizarre, there is no real explanation as to why Uncle Albert is possessing Timothy, it's merely hinted at. This story also has a very weak ending, I was sitting there waiting for a twist or a startling plot revelation but neither came and it just sort of ended limply. Mel with Joan Collins is easily the best story and tries to have a nice twist at the end, and as a whole the story itself works well as a short and is entertaining to watch Joan battle it out with a tree stump for the affections of Brian. The final story is also really predictable as it starts with Kimo promising to preform a voodoo ritual with a human sacrifice, he turns up at Auriol's house and takes an interest in her daughter Virginia. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to work out what's going to happen does it? It's generally well made as you would expect of British horror from the 70's. There is no blood or gore in it and only a couple of brief scenes of nudity, one of which involves Joan Collins, but the camera never shows her face while her characters breasts are out. They probably used a body double. Acting is OK from everyone involved. Overall I didn't think too much of it, it's OK but not as good as many other horror anthologies like the House that Drpped Blood (1970), Asylum (1972), the Vault of Horror (1973) or even Creepshow (1982). Probably worth a watch if you can catch it on T.V. but not much else.