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CrossBones
A group of people decide to be a part of a reality television show based around a treasure hunt on an island. Whichever contestant is lucky wins the ultimate prize. Unbeknownst to the contestants, an ancient curse from the ghostly pirate Red Beard exists on the island. They unwittingly unleash the curse which results in a bloodbath.
Release : | 2005 |
Rating : | 1.9 |
Studio : | Popart Film Factory, Pan Productions, |
Crew : | Cinematography, Director, |
Cast : | Hardy-Ames Hill |
Genre : | Horror Thriller |
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Reviews
Such a frustrating disappointment
Absolutely the worst movie.
This is one of the best movies I’ve seen in a very long time. You have to go and see this on the big screen.
One of the most extraordinary films you will see this year. Take that as you want.
I am taking the time and liberty of making CrossBones my first ever comment on the IMDb! Let me say: It sucked. It sucked from the two girl's cup. Thank you for your time and consideration...Oh, wait, I have to type more? OK. This movie is the reason that Y2K thing should have happened. That and the whole "robots harvesting our bodies for fuel" plot that was outlined for us in The Matrix. Simply ask yourself, "Do I like my life?" If you answer "Yes", then please disregard this movie and go about your charmed lives. But if you answer "No", then WATCH AND SUFFER YOU DIRTY MAGGOT! That's right, YOU LIKE BEING TALKED TO LIKE THAT, DON'T YOU?! Freakin' masochists. I will keep a special copy warm in Hell for you, brother. Until then, videe well, my droogs. Videe well...argh!
It is very unusual for me to really hate a movie. I can usually find some redeeming quality in every film. Even if the plot sucks and the acting is atrocious it is usually high on the entertainment value. This movie has no redeeming qualities and now occupies a tie for the worst movie every made with The Pirate Movie. Aside from trying to take off on the worst idea TV people ever came up with (Reality TV) this movie contains nothing to even hold your interest. Even the scenes of Redblood killing the contestants is not believable. Further, there is no point to his killing because it is never clearly portrayed in the film why he is killing everyone. The contestant interviews are pure filler with no purpose in the film and even the beginning of the film that is supposed to set the stage is boring. Additionally, the brags of the movie having a lot of T&A shots are grossly exaggerated. There is one scene in the beginning of the movie where a woman's breasts are briefly visible. After that all "T&A" shots are of moderately attractive women in bikini's. Do yourself a favor and do not waste your time or money on this film.
Thought possibly this film would be interesting with a Pirate on the loose with a bunch of people trying out for a Reality TV show and a $100,000. bonus. Most of the actors did their very best to perform their roles to perfection especially the female actors, showing plenty of T&A or I should say Q&A about why a Pirate is coming to life and disturbing everyone he comes into contact. This is definitely not a film to view, unless you can obtain this film on a DVD for only $1.00, so I threw away a dollar. The director and producer showed plenty of film footage on the making of the Production and acted like they were creating an Academy Award for 2005!
It has porno quality acting minus the sex. This could quite possibly be the worst low-budget reality show based pirate horror film of all time. And there are some pretty bad low-budget reality show based pirate horror films out there. It was awful not even worth the $5.50 bin at Wal-Mart. If one does decide to watch this film do it with a group of friends who love to mock and ridicule painfully bad acting, terrible sets, and a camera crew from Mrs. Smith's 10th grade film class. The camera will literally tilt from the actress' face to her breast 25 times in this movie. And throughout the entire film there is no nudity. they diliberately tried to play the sex card and got absolutely no quality what so ever.