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The Worst Film Ever

hyped garbage

Excellent, Without a doubt!!

By the time the dramatic fireworks start popping off, each one feels earned.

Pals Mike, Roy, Hunter and Derek, all ex-military, are now a bounty hunter team that also helps people in need. A woman whose rich ex kidnapped their kid hires them. Also, a chemical weapons expert who killed Mike's old team resurfaces. Shadow Warriors II: Hunt for the Feath Merchant is bad and it freaking knows it for sure and that's great i guess i mean Shannon Tweed's close up to her massive big friends? Damn this film knows exactly what you want. It's bad and that's great and perhaps an online watch would be nice for just a few laughs to have. (3/10)

This entertainingly cheesy adventure yarn which should be rightly named "attack of the ageing action heroes". Taking three 40-something "stars" and dropping them into a lightweight story which is an excuse for almost constant action sounds like good fun to me and the movie doesn't disappoint. My only complaint is that, as this is a television movie, there is no blood to be found anywhere in the film. Lots of people die, sure, but with no blood. Even a few broken bones but no blood to be seen anywhere which helps to destroy the little realism this movie had in the first place.The film opens with a "mini-mission" lasting half an hour which is kind of like a short film in itself. The team members (wittily calling themselves "S.O.S.") launch a stealth mission on a mountain in Austria to rescue a girl kidnapped by her own father. Lots of shoot-outs with guards and gun battles ensue, as well as a few cheap stunts. After this the plot begins afresh, quite incredibly, with good ol' Hulk tracking down a villain from his past and invading his mountain-top fortress too. The plot element is that Hulk has been injected in his neck with a poison that will kill him within 72 hours if he doesn't get the antidote. Cue lots of strenuous acting from Hulk and desperate races against time for the others.The movie is packed with lots of explosions, funny moments like a guy firing a rocket launcher at a fully-size rocket coming out of the ground, about a zillion bad guys getting gunned down at the finale and more over-the-top antics than you can shake a stick at. It's all great fun if not exactly brilliant film-making in action. My favourite scene is the COMMANDO rip-off when Hogan travels to some Far Eastern desert place and wastes a small army with a couple of Gatling guns. Speaking of Hulk, the wrestler-turned-actor isn't that bad in a serious role, and just as good as the Van Dammes and Lundgrens of today's straight-to-video flicks.The supporting cast is made up of Carl Weathers who enjoys himself as a tough mercenary-type warrior, climbing up vertical slopes and sweating frequently as he attempts to destroy deadly poison. Amusingly he doesn't seem to have aged in the decade since his earlier action antics. Shannon Tweed (a star of countless "late night" erotic films) is the female member of the team and Cassar takes ample opportunity to let his camera gaze at her body at every turn, and it's also amazing that she never seems to age much either. The supporting cast are about as good as to be expected for a film of this type, although Gerard Plunkett is a little too subdued as the evil bad guy. He definitely needs to be more villainous. Apart from that minor flaw, this is all you could want from a fun, cheesy B-movie.

To sum everything up: the inexplicably popular Hulk Hogan, washed-up can't-believe-it's-not-porno star Shannon Tweed, Apollo Creed, the cop from "Last House" (who was cool before I saw this) and some other guy who is cleaning up vomit at Wal-Mart while you read this shoot for hours and hours and hours from open spaces without getting a scratch. Usually writers try to make it remotely believable by having one guy shot in the arm or something like that but no, none of that for the indestructible Hulk Hogan. There's just something bothering me about Hulk Hogan being surrounded by twenty guys and just shooting them one by one with his painfully slow moves. It's a way-too-common trend in action flicks that villains with machine guns who are off-screen immediately stop existing. At least Seagal hides behind a crate or something. It's also pretty hilarious how none of the people who get shot appear to bleed, they just fall down. It looks like a bunch of kids playing cowboy and Indian. For people who think wrestling(which in Hogan's case, is not a lot more than soft punching) is real.

This movie is the worst thing ever filmed. I wouldn't really call it a movie. Yet it had me laughing for hours, so I must give it some credit. The beginning is classic. SPOILER ALERT!! It depicts a few members of the team doing there thing. We have Shannon Tweed punching and kicking a punching bag with absolutely no skill at all. We have Appolo sculpting something out of what appears to be a big block of sheet-rock with awful drawings hanging in the back ground. And of course Hogan having some kind of fit due to shell shock from the gulf war. So lets recap. Shannon is a kick boxing chick and Appolo is an artist, kind of. With Hogan being crazy. Suddenly a woman appears and says "I saw your add, it said you help people." Can you picture the add people? Mike Mcbride with a huge gun in the back of Guns and Ammo magazine with the add saying something like "Guns for hire"So basically the lady wants them to rescue her daughter who has been taken from her by her evil ex-husband. The fact is that, this lady might be crazy, and could have lost the child in court. The Shadow Warriors don't ask any questions, they take the case, probonoe no less. So in short they go to this house where a party of some sort is taking place. The team runs in shooting up the place, and rescuing the damn kid.Should I continue, well OK. I can tell you this about shadow warriors. You should watch it, go to you nearest departmental store and look in the 5.88 rack. Both 1 and 2 are there One isn't that funny. But 2, Oh my god. Its the funniest thing of a movie ever.